Yet another gray dismal day here. Yeah it's warm, but it's looks like hell out there; while spring makes you remember how many shades of green there are, a wet November is just a study in a million shades of muddy browns and grey.
For fun, I've been spending the last 10 minutes checking out Las Vegas webcams. And yes, I'm aware of how sad that sounds.
As of this writing it will be approximately 7 days, 18 hours until I have my first live shot with Joanne, Gary and Maudie. If all goes according to plan, this will take place before we all even leave the damn airport. And that's as far as the plan gets me.
There is a long (and I mean looooooong) list of things I really want to do while in Vegas, but but only one or two of them can be classed in the I-must-do-this-or-die-trying category. I'm going with the flow on this trip. If I play any poker beyond the WPBT tourney at Ceasar's, great. But I'm not going to actively search out games and run all over Vegas.
Seven days, seventeen and a half hours. But who's counting?
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Huge, huge kudos to Garth for finishing his NaNoWriMo novel, and with a day to spare!!! Such discipline, such imagination, such drive, such a cushy job where one can write during the day *grin.
Nice job, mate!
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I played my most donkalicious in the Mookie last night, both accumulating and donating chips with the greatest of ease. It was all good until the Second Chance opened up and it was proven to me once more that I suck at multitasking and multitabling. And at maintaining basic good manners in the midst of a tilt. I do apologise to all.
And many thanks to Surflexus for sweating me and letting me bounce silly ideas off of him.
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Edit: CC's Thursday Bash has been postponed until the 16tth of December. Whew. That gives me time to get some dough on Stars, and oh yeah, another nite to try and get all my crap done (exams/marking/report cards/3 new clients) before Vegas!
This is a bare bones post coz this is already about 3 hours later than I really wanted to stay up (yeah, call me a weenie if you like, it was a 13 hour day at school and I'm tired, dammit).
I got home from work about 8-ish logged in, and was immediately beseiged by Joanne and Gary, imploring and beseeching me to grace them with my company, and join them in the PokerStars Moneymaker thingie. And being the sociable creature I am, I did.
(ok, it might not have happened *quite* like that, but it's still entirely their doing)
I spent my 10 FPP, settled in the girlie chat and proceeded to giggle it up. I've entered these before and have been donked out in short order, and was expecting more of the same, to maybe last a half hour to an hour, goof off with G and J, and then hit the sack.
I mean why wouldn't I expect that? It's not really poker so much in these things as Bingo, or Keno as G says. I got a chance to drop the hammer. All in, and won it with a two on the flop (thanks to Joanne for supplying the screenshot).
But a funny thing happened in the second hour...I got cards. And I started to want it. And we all know what happens then. It's not a bubble, but close enough as makes no nevermind, as me mum would say.
Now I don't begrudge the time - it was a pretty damn fine chat we had going on. And good lord, I made eighty-second out of over seventy-six hundred entrants.
But I feel a little....unfulfilled. Squirmy, you might say. Like a virgin bride on her wedding night, I'm left wondering shouldn't there be more to this? FOUR HOURS and NO climax, NO prize at the end. Just a fizzle, then nothing left but an empty Drambuie bottle (nasty stuff, I really need to make a beer run!) and a slightly wired feeling which means I won't get the good night sleep I was hoping for.
But the chat was definitely worth it. Joanne, Gary, thank you *huge, grin!
It's a pictorial rendition of my weekend. All (except one) images were shamelessly lifted from nataliedee.com, who I expect will contact me any day now and tell me to stop being so loosey-goosey with copyrighted materials. What directed me to her site? Finding the following image of a blogosaurus (the thing on his head picks up wifi!)
Just another day at school, where students busily work on their latest scientific research:
Frankly it was a long day. The last class I spent surfing the internet and looking at cartoons and blogs until finally:
And then get the fuck home. Hunny Bunny was working late, so I stopped off on the way home and picked up a kebab from the Afgani place across the street. Once in the door I did my usual: set up the laptop, slip into something more comfortable (black tights and a tshirt that proclaims "Touch Me, I'm Interactive), and log in to Yahoo and Full Tilt to see who's on.
The usual girlie chat ensued - quite a group was on (Joanada, Gracie, Bloody P, Weak, Sox, Jordan, Garth, forgive me there were more but I've now lost it), and we got not one but two blogger .10/.25 tables happening. Even though I lost money (well not that much, 10 bucks over a night, big deal, right?), it was a very good night.
There were Dial-A-Shots:
where people learned I was a bit like this....
There was a discussion with Weak and Sox about Chinese food, the end result being that Weak thinks I need to have a t-shirt with this on it for Vegas:
Meanwhile on the tables there was much silliness. Bloody P was in a hand with Gracie, where she discovered that he was playing 23 offsuit. While this hand is known as a Can of Corn (?), it will forever after be called the Urinalysis if Gracie has anything to say about it *grin.
I was supposed to finish some marking on Saturday. I was supposed to work on some graphics on Saturday. I was supposed to pack my niece's birthday present and take it to the post office. I was supposed to go grocery shopping. I was supposed to do laundry. But I felt crappy and crampy and bloated and icky so I pretty much stayed on the couch and played poker and knitted.
Later on that night there was more poker, and more chat silliness, but not nearly as much beer. Due to my incredible lack of foresight, I had forgotten that I was supposed to go out and get more alcohol. Sigh.
There were also more blogger cash games going on, and I'm sure the poor non-bloggers (or muggles as Sox called 'em) at the tables must have wondered what the hell was going on. It was crazy, with some wild pots for a .10/.25 game. I had a lot of chats and tables open, and a phone call going on so it was a bit blurry, but I dimly remember taking a very large pot off Sox. Taking down a big pot, even in a suckout is good (see red arrow) but taking down a big pot from a blogger is even better (see green arrow). I finished the night up by about 50.
Sunday was the day that Hunny Bunny and I had planned to just hang out. We both got to bed late, and woke up late with the full day of nothing planned ahead of us. After this usual conversation:
we decided to go for brunch and then go for a walk in High Park. Not a lot to tell there...got exercise, saw buffalo and caribou (there's a little zoo), was threatened by a freaking HUGE swan at the waters edge on Grenadier Pond that apparently was pissed off that we were 1) that close to it and 2) had no food to give to it, and talked about everything and nothing.
The evening was spent doing nothing, until Surflexus reminded me of the WBPT HORSE tourney on Full Tilt. I had me a few tokens I've accumulated over the last few days so I decided to give it a whirl.
Let me state for the record that that was the SECOND time I've played HORSE. I fully realize I know just enough about omaha, razz and stud to be frighteningly silly. And yes, thank you, I know I suck at anything limit. But it was fun, even though I made some seriously dumb moves and ended 14th of 28.
So that's my weekend. Here's one more comic that made me snicker:
And I promise never to do this again. Maybe.
May your weekend be filled with all the turkey, pie and football you can handle :-)
I took out two players with suckouts: Ryan from Absinthetics when I called his all in with only a gutshot and a case of the awfukkits (hit runner-runner flush, and I honest to god feel bad about it), and A10419 with a hand I don't remember, but am sure it felt fugly to be on the receiving end.
I'm 10 of 28, when the poker gods wake up, check their stats, and after much discussion decide that this cannot be allowed to continue.
The next had they give me KK....clever poker gods. Bastards that they are, they know that high pocket pairs excite me, intrigue me. It's just Waffles and I in the pot, and the flop comes absolute crap, so my level of excitement merges with confidence to form a heady brew of intoxicating delight. I am SO taking this down.
I bet a decent amount; but what's this? Waffles re-raising me? I put him on a pocket pair...if he had a set he'd torture me a bit while reeling me in...he knows my fishy ways of falling for the handsome strangers known as TP.
So I call and am all in. And as soon as my finger raises from the mouse button I am sent a vision of the next card a split second before it turns. A ten. NOW he has his damn set. (Dear precognition...a bit MORE notice next time would be nice....like say BEFORE I click the mouse button, hmmm?).
So, dear Ryan and A10419, rest easy in the knowledge that she that lives by the suckout, dies by the suckout.
And at the hands of Waffles no less.
Just not right now.
In the last two days I've had to deal with
- the computers that were stolen, and all the data that the users did NOT back up to the server as it was "too sensitive" even though I have set up a password protected area for just those files. Which they never used. And even though they did not EVER back up their files on their computers, under their logins, it's somehow my error.
- finding the serial numbers of the stolen computers for the police. Even though there is no way on gods green earth these machines will ever be recovered, and we all know it.
- specifying and ordering replacements
- working on the set up of the new Xerox networked printer that arrived Friday, and also setting up the accounts and training staff on it.
- the wireless dropping out and 2 hubs malfunctioning
- and the icing on the cake; my home wireless doesn't seem to like Full Tilt for some reason and keeps choking on it.
On a poker front, I've been trying to build my bankroll. Again. My new mantra is a quote from Iggy, the genius of viral marketing:
Play cash games for the dough, blogger games for the fun.OR as stated in this simple mathematical equation:
(EV + fun) + (EV - $) = blogger gamesSince Friday, I've managed to play at least 2 hours/day on a .10/.25 NLHE ring game and am averaging $12/hour. And it feels good.
So now that my confidence in poker has been (somewhat) restored, I'm going to go and donate...errr....play in my favourite home game tonight, the Mookie (see sidebar for details). I have loved this game from the first moment I hit it with Waffles. It's the only friendly home game I've placed first in, and twice in a row at that. Of course, it was a much easier game to win back before all the damn bloggers showed up *grin.
Blogger games = +EV for fun, -EV for $. But sometimes (and definitely only sometimes), you need the fun. And after this week bay-bee, I needs me some fun! So hit me up in the girlie chat tonight and we'll have some laughs and IM-a-shots!
I had such a great weekend!
Friday was girlie chat and poker with about 12 of my favourite Invisible Internet Friends (IFF's) as Gracie calls them.
Saturday was Tawny's girlie sleep-over party with cocktails and manicures - I tried the pinks, but it just doesn't work for me. I ended up with with the "I'm Not Really A Waitress" Red. My nails now look good..... femme-fatale bad-girl good.
And Sunday was Hang Out With Hunny Bunny Day, and we went to see the girlie movie "Casino Royale". OK, it's not really a girlie movie, but Daniel Craig is some pretty good eye candy, which is odd as I don't normally think blondes are hot. And the movie was good too btw...
On a poker front, it was a good weekend. I stayed away from SnG's and MTT's mostly - there was an attempt at a peep token (successful) and a Tier Two token (unsuccessful), and concentrated on cash games, where I tripled my bankroll. Now this sounds uber-impressive until I tell you that my bankroll was a whole 28 bucks on Full Tilt. Yippeee skippeeee, I'm at $85 now *grin.
There was other stuff too; bloggers playing in the FTOPS, The Big Game, and Iggy moving to PokerWorks.
But I came in to work and all the relaxation, all the fun, all the enjoyment disappeared faster than my first boyfriend when I told him he had to meet my dad before we could go out on a car date.
Some motherfucker doucebags broke into the school and stole computers over the weekend. So insert the sounds of me cursing while I jury-rig something together with what we have left, so admin, teachers and students have computer access until we can get new ones in. And then insert even more cursing when the new stuff comes in and has to be set up.
I love my job. But I don't love being the only one here who "gets" computers. And I love (most of) the people I work with. But a little help would be nice.
Don't forget it's the MATH tonight on Pokerstars - see the sidebar for details. I'll be there exchanging my work tilt for poker tilt - see you there!
Congrats to Iak and Hoy for their work in the FTOPS. Kudos!!!
And for something that will make you laugh so hard, stuff will shoot out your nose (I know, I know, it's gross to think of, but trust me on this. Have tissues or a handkerchief at the ready), click here.
Recaps: DADI - wasn't the first one out like in the Mookie the night before, but pretty damn close. CC's Thursday Bash - it was a limit tourney by mistake, something I'm not that good at (but Kat, I hear you ask, just what poker variant are you good at? Pffffffttttt!). Lets just say the one thing I do like about limit is that you get a lot of time for your tourney buck - takes longer to lose. And lose I did. Quel surprise *grin. Thank you to CC for your post game conversation and advice.
On a positive note, I'm currently in second place for his four week cash bonus thing. I could make a fortune on side bets for me bubbling out of it....my records show I've bubbled 12 times in SnG's and MTT's in the last 3 weeks. Painful.
This kind of sums up how I feel about poker at the moment (I NEED one of these shirts!!) :
Now those who know me, know I am not a girlie girl by any stretch of the imagination. I mean, I used to look like this for gods' sake! (I'm on the left btw)
I don't shriek at the sight of a mouse or spider, own enough makeup that it would fit in a cigarette package, only need the smaller side of the closet for my clothes, don't much like chick flicks or chick lit, would rather sleep in flannel than silk (although I really prefer sleeping in the buff), and own NOTHING that is pink. And frankly, most days I'd rather go to the dentist than go shopping.
I often wonder when they're going to revoke my estrogen license.
But sometimes, just sometimes, I feel the need to cross over to the pink side. I watch French Kiss, read sexy novels (I can't give in all the way to trash, like Harlequins *shudder), use the expensive bubble bath, give myself a facial.
And sometimes, just sometimes, I am invited to partake in the girlie ritual of a slumber party, grown up style.
Tawny has planned such a party for Saturday, which coincides with the night my pal, the Martini Goddess, is venturing in to the Big Smoke for a weekend of getting in touch with one's chick side (brunch, shopping, martinis). T won't let us bring any drinks, but instead has concocted a drinks menu of libations to chose from. Check out her site...the clever girl has named them after OPI nailpolish colours!!
We do however have to bring a bottle of OPI nailpolish with a shade name that best describes us. Now OPI is known for it's professional grade polishes AND clever punny shade names. I have spent too much of my day looking through their site for the colour I should bring. The finalists are:
I'm Not Really A Waitress.
I love this colour!
A-Rose at Dawn...Broke by Noon
Now while I don't normally like pink or rose, I think I might have to make an exception in this case, as the name seems to sum up my poker life lately *grin.
Ah, but then there's this one, named for that pokery Holy Grail: Royal Flush Blush
Yes, that is the sum total of my difficult decisions today. But only because I haven't played any poker yet.
And btw, if anyone wants a Dial-A-Shot from a room full of drunken women with great pedicures, let me know (Jules and Joanne, you're already on the list *grin).
But like me dad always told me, you have to get back up on the horse. Or was it a bicycle he was talking about? I forget. Reminds me of that bit from Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy:
Arthur Dent: It's times like there I wish I'd listened to what my mother said when I was little.Ooof...what was I talking about?? Oh yeah ... pokering on in the face of bad cards, variance, bad beats, idiots, distractions, bad moods, beer buzzes and other general sillinesses.
Ford Prefect: Why what did your mother say when you were little?
Arthur Dent: I don't know - I wasn't listening!
Tonight there is not ONE, not TWO, but THREE ways for you take chips from me *grin.
First we have CC's Bash at 9 EST on PokerStars:
Then we have the last DADI at 9:00 ET on Full Tilt. I (normally) kick ass in 6-handed games so I'm definitely going to be there too. (Sidenote: what week for doors closing in the poker blogosphere, eh? No wonder I'm so depressed.)
And lastly we have the WWdN:Not at 9:30 CT (that's 10:30 ET) to round out the evening:
See y'all there. Please, be kind. Or you might read about me in the papers tomorrow *grin.
I signed on to a HORSE freeroll on Full Tilt to generally goof off. After all I've never played Razz, played Stud very infrequently (read: twice) and know just enough about Omaha to know that I'm an Omatard Extraordinaire. And you've all seen my skill at Hold Em.
Wow. Is that ever addictive. And perfect for those with a touch of ADD and very short attention spans (read: me).
Now, I know that a freeroll will in no way, shape or form be a good arena to determine one's skill level. Push monkeys, calling stations and retard-o's abound. But I think 316 out of 1800 is pretty damn good for my first foray. It would have been higher, but HB got home after 1.5 hours of this madness. Call me crazy, but somehow hanging with him and eating my Swiss Chalet Festive Special while it was hot seemed far more important than trying to hang on to 27th place to win 2 bucks.
Methinks I'll be practicing so I can jump into any HORSE games that may pop up at the MGM in December *grin
Iggy has had the honour of having some wonderful tributes written about him while he can still enjoy the accolades. But I have to wonder if he might be feeling a bit like this guy (or at least this guy just before they club him *grin).
Monty Python: Not Dead Yet
Man, I do love Monty Python!
Things I want to do while in Las Vegas:
- drink some cocktails and have some laughs
- create a special Lucky Kitty shooter with Gracie
- grab me some blogger butt
- cause havoc with Joanada
- get a new tattoo (see right)
- engage Gary in conversation, just to hear his velvet voice purr in my ears
- try one more time to drink SoCo
- edit: bond with some Canadians (yes I know that Garth isn't technically Canadian, but he is part of the Commonwealth and did live here in the Great White North for a while)
- oh, and play some poker
- drink any raspberry martinis
- be a responsible adult
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I'd like to thank my guardian angel for her generosity in making this possible. You rock beyond words.
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However it is going to be a bit weird to be in Vegas sans the Loud One. I have only been there three times before, and all three times she's been there. The first time was when Hunny Bunny and I got married by Elvis, another time to mooch off her when she was there for work and the last at the WPBT in July.
Yes Jules, many Dial A Shots will be made.
- collated and sorted the school’s Computer Use Contract first by grade then in descending order alphabetically. Then promptly filed them in the recycling bin where they should have gone in the first place.
- Called Joanne. Voicemail.
- refreshed my bloglines list at least a dozen times looking for new reading material. Only 2 updates in an hour.
- spend an inordinate amount of time perusing my blog stats. Things I have learned:
- if you enter the following search terms in Google, you will land here eventually:
- poker sexual innuendo
- what does donk mean in poker
- and my personal favourite, tall goddess poker.
- I have had visitors from Pakistan, Palau, Germany and Denmark in the last 24 hours
- Astin has been the top referrer
- began writing a short story about the worst motel in America (I've stayed there. I know whereof I speak).
- played thumbwar with a 6 year old. I let her win.
I deleted my NaNoWriMo file today.
I made it to 10,000+ words, with over half of it happening yesterday. I had to force myself to even write that - I was stalling and making excuses all week, accomplishing nothing. So I stopped and thought about why I didn't want to go on.
It was becoming precisely the kind of story I dislike reading; lots of turmoil and internal drama, filled with sad stories, hard luck cases and lots of personal self-exploration that goes nowhere and has no positive outcomes. Like those books one finds with the "Oprah Book Club" seal of approval, it was the kind of depressing journey that I normally avoid like it's the coming of the next plague and has virulent spores hidden in every period.
I hated it. I'd originally meant for this beginning to be just a backstory I could hang some road trip tales on, but it became something that made me look into those dusty corners of the psyche that one should not venture into without some professional help. So I hit the delete button. I don't want to take all these great road experiences and plop them into something I hate, so I'm going to make them into short stories.
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On a poker front, I've been working at getting my bankroll back up into triple digits (at first I was struggling to get it back up into double digits, but am thankfully past that stage now). Have had some success with the $5 x 18 SnG's which has allowed me to delve back into my beloved $12+1 shorthanded one table SnG's. Some wins, more losses...you know the story.
My game is improving though...I'm working on trying to channel the same energy that hit me during the Bad Beat on Cancer and the first Big Game tourneys, and have had some good success with it.
I'm *really* happy with how I played CC's first Thursday Bash, and even though I was the Bubble Bubble Girl (again), I walked away from the computer happy and knowing I played just about every hand well.
CC is a most amazingly nice person...not only has he set up this tourney thing, but he felt so bad about taking me out in the bubble with a suckout that he gave me a Bubble prize out of his own winnings. What a sweetie!
And speaking of nice peeps, my gratitude goes out to Joanada and FastPitch for staking me to some buyins on Full Tilt on Friday so I could keep playing and drinking, drinking and playing.
I *heart* bloggers!
Nope. I've been trying to figure out why I've been feeling so crappy.
November has struck me with a vague malaise, a lethargy so overwhelming that it makes all my previous bouts of laziness look like I was Martha Stewart on speed in comparison. All I want to do is sleep. Now this is something I'd normally put down to the shortening of the days and the daylight savings time change, but it's starting to worry me - in the last five days I've had naps in the afternoon and STILL been in bed fast asleep by 9 or 10. This is so not like me - I'm usually the one who mercilessly mocks those in bed by that time.
And a few nights ago I woke up at 2 am with a steady ache in my chest, mostly on my left side. And that is some scary shit, let me tell you.
I've since done a round with clinics and doctors and some tests. It's not a heart thing (which is a good thing, but dammit, I was just getting ready to get Dr. Supermodel to be my personal physician *grin), but nobody knows what the hell it is.
The funniest part of it all (if any or it could be called funny) has been when a very world-weary middle aged doctor at one clinic told me I was perfectly normal. I swear I could hear Jules' laugh echoing for about 15 minutes.
I've played a bit of poker, and managed to stay awake for the Mookie tonight, but only because 1) I had a 3 hour nap before and 2) there was an error somewhere and it started an hour earlier. You don't need to ask how I did. It was the usual denouement - firmly middle of the pack until a bonehead move busts me. But tonight I'm even too tired to complain or whine about it too much. It is what it is.
And like Popeye, I yam what I yam. Which is a rather clumsy segue to....
Following a link from Fuel's blog, I did the Jungian type test where some of the questions had me laughing out loud for real, like:
- You get bored if you have to read theoretical books (YES - go ahead, ask me how many times I've tried to read Harrington)
- You take pleasure in putting things in order (NO - have you *seen* my desk? LOL!)
- You feel more comfortable sticking to conventional ways (NO - not since I was 14)
- Deadlines seem to you to be of relative, rather than absolute, importance (Absolutely YES! Douglas Adams said it best: I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.)
ISFPs are action-oriented individuals. They are "doers", and are usually uncomfortable with theorizing concepts and ideas, unless they see a practical application. They learn best in a "hands-on" environment, and consequently may become easily bored with the traditional teaching methods, which emphasize abstract thinking. They are uncomfortable with the idea of making decisions based strictly on logic. The ISFP is likely to not give themself enough credit for the things which they do extremely well. Their strong value systems can lead them to be intensely perfectionist, and cause them to judge themselves with unneccesary harshness.Very interesting ......
Don't forget it's the Big Game tonight over on FullTilt. Due to some spectacular donkitude on my part over the week, I won't be there to defend my bubble-licious title. I don't often give out poker tips (hey, who am I to tell anyone how to play), but here's one for you - muscle relaxers don't assist in making keen poker hand analysis. On a slightly related note, my back is finally feeling better.
As well as the usual "home" games this week (see the sidebar for details on the MATH, WWdN, Mookie and WWdN NOT), there's a new game on the horizon: CC's Thursday Bash. For those (like me) who can't stay up long enough to play in the WWdN NOT (damn that working responsible adult thing getting in the way of my fun again!), this nicely rounds out the week in terms of me redistributing my wealth to my friends.
I'm just so tired. Since getting back from Quebec, I've been feeling like things are not quite meshing. Looking forward to the weekend - maybe 2 days of sleep and doing S.F.A. will fix what ails me.
If that doesn't work, there's always alcohol.
Speaking of my epic...here's the opening thus far:
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“Isabelle, it’s been two weeks. Stop being so self indulgent and get out of bed, get dressed, come to work.”
The voice on the phone was that of my boss, Fiona. She is, without a doubt, the most self-centered and socially inept individual on the planet. I’d worked for her as Administrative Assistant for six years, during which I’d grown to know her just a tad too well. She was one of those women everyone liked at first; she could charm the birds from the trees as my dad used to say. She had enough weird quirks that drove people nuts after a while, like she would only buy cars that had colours named for alcohol: champagne, burgundy, cognac. She didn’t see anything wrong with wearing her full length black mink coat, and thought that the environmentalists were people with no other talents than getting attention. But the job was fairly easy and staying one step ahead of her wasn’t as hard as one would think. The pay was good, the benefits were better. It was normally enough of a carrot for me to pretend I liked her.
At this moment however, I loathed her immensely. “Fuck off Fiona. I’m allowed.” I then hung up on her.
I waited for her to call me back. I knew there was no way she’d let this go, and I wasn’t disappointed. I picked up the phone on the first ring and said “Fiona. Go. Away.”
“Isabelle, work will help you get over this.” Ah. I see she’s trying the sensitive and reasonable approach. Too bad I knew her better, and was not falling for it.
“Fiona, how about you cut the shit and tell me what you want slash need?”
“Well, first of all I’d like you to stop cursing. It’s not very professional.”
“Yeah. Whatever.” I didn’t feel very professional. I hadn’t left my bed for most of those two weeks, and I looked it. I didn’t care even slightly.
“Isabelle! When are you coming back to work? I can’t find anything, and we’re about to lose a big contract because we can’t find the paperwork.” Ah, the point emerges.
“I don’t give a shit about the contract, the paperwork or you.” I have never said anything truer in my life.
There was a long silence. “Do you want a job to come back to?” Her voice had gotten that cold menacing tone I’ve heard her use on suppliers who missed her impossible deadlines.
“Are you threatening me Fiona? Perhaps I need to place a call to Human Resources.” Wow. This conversation was disintegrating fast. I still didn’t care.
She started to speak, but I was suddenly hit by what my friend calls a case of the awfukkits. “You know what, Fiona? I am done with this. The paperwork was filed correctly the last day I was there. If you can’t find it, it’s because you’ve lost it, no one else. And I am not dragging myself down there in this state just to cover your ass yet again.” The awfukkits ramped up a notch, and I heard myself saying “Actually, I don’t think I want to drag myself down there to cover your ass again. Ever. I quit.”
I could hear her voice start to screech as I gently put the receiver back on the cradle. I unplugged the phone and lay back down to resume my busy day of staring at the ceiling.
Two weeks ago I cared about things. I loved a man, cared about my friends and family, and worried about my job. My life was full of the moments and emotions that give a life it’s colour.
Now I don’t even care enough to wash my hair.
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