I'm spring cleaning as my accumulated stuff is starting to take over my living space.

I've been given some poker books as gifts, have read, and will never read again. So before I take them to Goodwill, I figured I'd see if any bloggers want 'em.

Both are by John Vorhaus (dude,that is ONE ugly website...we need to talk!): Poker Night : Winning at Home, at the Casino, and Beyond and Killer Poker Online: Crushing the Internet Game.

So if you're interested, drop me an email to katitude AT blakat DOT com...first one gets them. All I want is the cost to ship them to where ever you are.

No poker for me today; it's riding weather! See you tonight at the WPBT Stud game, where I prove that no, I don't know Stud.

Have a great day!

Amount spent on the $5.50 + Rebuy last night: $10.50

Amount won for 18th place after almost 6 hours: 252.89

Being railbirded by your friends: abso-fucking-lutely priceless!!

Many thanks to Weak for the 11th hour coaching, and the well wishes of Garth, Sox, Hoyazo, Veneno and Gracie!!

THIS made me laugh out loud today. Not lol. Not LOL. But OUT LOUD for real.

Miss April, thank you.

In the back of my mind there's been a teeeny tiny voice saying something, reminding me of something important. I've been ignoring it as it wasn't very loud, and I've gone through my usual checklist when I hear that voice:

- marking done? Check.
- lesson plans up to date? Check.
- any outstanding client work that needs to be addressed? Nope.
- contacted all family members recently? Check.
- hotel and flight booked for Vegas? Check and check.
- bills all paid. nothing incredibly outstanding? Nope.

So I woke up this morning, turned off my alarm and the little voice, and had coffee in bed with Hunny Bunny. 20 minutes later he left for a gig. 20 minutes after that I remember what the voice was trying to tell me.

Oh, fuck. It's Hunny Bunny's birthday today.

So I called him on his cell and sang the traditional off-key lounge-style version of Happy Birthday. Oh thank god, he forgot too (he's as much into birthdays as I am into mornings). I was able to bluff him and say that I had a card and stuff, but well, it's morning and I forgot.

So I have until 7-ish to pull this together.

Poker is not giving me any loving tonight.

My performance in both the Mookie Big O and the 6 person SnG I played after was, shall we say, unsatisfactory. So I finished the night by completing my 100 things post. Enjoy.

Today I recieved the books I ordered from chapters.ca: Harrington on Hold 'Em Volume 1, and Zen and the Art of Poker. So off for a little light reading before bed. Here's hoping tomorrow is better.

I had this post written, that I've been constructing over the last day or so. It was a great post about why women and Canadians feel the need to apologise even when shit isn't their fault, and how the Internet is really the last bastion of truly free speech (that's a good thing, btw).

But I deleted it.

I went out for lunch today with Hunny Bunny, and afterwards we took a long walk along the Don River. We talked, we explored, we watched birds, and I found great swaths of a spring flower that I haven't seen since I left my home in the country.

All of this made me smile and feel very, very good. Which made my post seem really unimportant, hence the deletion. It's too nice a day to indulge in what now seems like borderline bitchy.

-------------------------------

Don't forget kids, it's Wednesday. And that means the Mookie Big "O" at 10 EST on PokerStars. Hope to see you there....and hope to not go out first (please PokerStars table gods...don't put at Hoyazo's table again! *grin).

Taken from Quotegarden.com:

"The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." ~David Mamet

(And that 72 offsuit (sorry, Biggestron) and pocket twos (sorry, Weak) can win big hands if played with the right reckless abandon.)

-------------------------------------------------------

"Cards are war, in disguise of a sport." ~Charles Lamb

-------------------------------------------------------

My fav:
"God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players [i.e., everybody], to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time." ~Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman, Good Omens, 1991

-------------------------------------------------------

"I believe in poker the way I believe in the American Dream. Poker is good for you. It enriches the soul, sharpens the intellect, heals the spirit, and - when played well, nourishes the wallet." ~Lou Krieger

-------------------------------------------------------

Poker: the art of civilized bushwhacking. ~Nick Dandalos, attributed

The evening started with Weak_Player and I finishing our HU Challenge....I won the best of seven in 5 games. With only a few ugly suckouts. Looking forward to the blog postings, Weak.

Then the DADI/WWdN. I went into it already resigned to losing, but looked at it as 1) a few hours of practise against a truly stellar field of players and 2) a donation to send someone to the WSOP.

Well 3+ hours later I get busted out by Gracie's set of 9's, and received this in my email:

PokerStars Tournament #22180151, No Limit Hold'em
Super Satellite
Buy-In: $28.00/$2.00
78 players
Total Prize Pool: $2184.00
Target Tournament #22178384 Buy-In: $1500.00
1 tickets to the target tournament

Tournament started - 2006/04/24 - 21:00:00 (ET)

Dear Katitude,

You finished the tournament in 8th place.
A $84.00 award has been credited to your Real Money account.


Congratulations!
Thank you for participating.

Schweeeet.

I'm giddy. I'm dancing around my apartment to 80's retro New Wave (looove the Eurythmics). No, I didn't make it to the WSOP entry, but I never thought I'd even make the money with this group. As I said to Garth, I'd feel less pressure sitting beside John Juanda than I did sitting beside Gracie!

Many, many thanks to those who stayed up late to hang and offer words of encouragement: Jules, Hoyazo, BrainMcPoker, Garth, Hoff, CarmenSinCity, Drewspop Weak, Sox and Duggle. If I wasn't so tired I'd put in the hyperlinks, but wth, the links are on the sidebar.

I'm done. More on this tomorrow.

When I was running my business full time, I had a great mentor who said, "how can you know where you're going unless you know where you've been?". This was his oblique way of saying "Plan your finances, you silly woman!".

Let me state right freaking now, for the record, I am not good with planning, and I tend to take the ostrich approach to most things involving my money. If I can't see it, it ain't happening. During times of dire financial difficulty in the past, I have left envelopes unopened for days and weeks just because they looked like a bill (one was actually a largish cheque, d'oh!).

Now I try to act more like a grown up (dammit, stop laughing J!). I face the bills; I open all envelopes. I'm no longer sailing my ship called Denial across the wide accountant-sea (nod to Monty Python intended). I plan, I budget. I'm....an.....ORGANIZED WOMAN!! (insert mental picture of me with hands on hips, superhero cape flowing behind me).

But.

When it comes to poker, I've reverted back to being ostrich girl. So if I want to win, to go forward in this game, I need to know where I've been. In my head I thought I'd spent under a hundred/month since hitting the cash tables 6 month ago. I'm not too worried about this figure; I've spent more on booze in a weekend than this and had less fun.

But after looking at my numbers on SharkScope I've come face to face with the financial consequences of my dabbling. And I'm less sanguine about my losses now that I see charts and proof.

And it's made me mad. Not tilty mad; rather it's-time-to-get-my-shit-together mad. I hate having my illusions stripped away.

"...a cusp is an important moment usually regarded as a decision point upon which consequent events are determined." Wikipedia.org

I feel I'm at one of those times, where as my dad would say, I need to either shit or get off the pot (Dad was never a man to mince words or suffer fools...remind you of anyone?).

I've been playing poker for a year and a half, both online and live; mostly online as the closest casino is 2 hours away. I've been playing real money tables online since October of last year.

Yes I definitely think my game has improved, thanks primarily to my friends who have managed to tell me in one sentence or less what they think I can do to make my game improve:

• Loud: "remember you are eff cubed....be confident and kick some ass!!"
  
• Weak_Player: "just pay attention to the table and the betting - don't let yourself be distracted."
  
• SoxLover: "If you folded more pre-flop, about one third of the hands you play, you'd definitely be in my Player to Watch list. As it is you're edging into the Maniac List"
  
• Veneno: "Kat, in HU you're far too passive. Be more aggressive - no way a HU game should last 110 hands."
  
• Garthmeister J: "Maybe playing after a few beers might not be the best idea of either of us."
  
• SirFWalgman: "Stop your love affair with TPTK and you'll stop being my ATM. PAY ATTENTION to the betting at every round...who's changed?"
  
• Hoyazo: "Don't limp with monsters!"

So from this, I boil down my challenges into:

1. lack of proper aggression - slowplaying at a bad time/with the wrong people
   
2. lack of the right mindset to win - playing because I'm bored, procrastinating, or just for fun (this last one is not a BAD time to play, but I shouldn't expect to win).
   
3. not folding enough. I'm still seeing the potential in every hand as glass-half-full rather than glass-half-empty.
   
4. not watching my opponents as closely as I should be.

So the last few days I've been thinking of my progress, my play, and where I'm taking this. While I've played a LOT of hours, I still think I've been a dilettante, a dabbler. I've skimmed books and magazines, but have made very little effort to incorporate the techniques into my play. I have not studied it. I do not use charts, calculators, players notes or helper software.

Why not? Two reasons: 1) I'M LAZY and 2) in the past, when something becomes work for me, it ceases to be fun or interesting.

The laziness thing I can't really do anything about. As Popeye said, "I yam what I yam". I will overcome it for periods of time, but it always resurfaces. And while it's definitely a killer obstacle, I've discovered that it's more the second item that's the roadblock to me becoming really good at winning poker.

When something is missing in my life, I take on an obsession, another passion to replace the one absent. My closet is filled with leftovers of these fleeting interests; stained glass bits, embroidery floss, books, half-written essays for creative writing classes, fabric and 2 dusty sewing machines, photography detritus, jewelry making thingamabobs...the list goes on.

Two obsessions have not faded: knitting and poker. I love poker. I like the ebb and flow, it's lack of constancy and certainty. It's about luck + skill, the controllable and the uncontrollable. But most of all I like how I can be myself. I don't have to be "nice"; civil, yes, but not nice. In fact it often pays more when I'm not nice.

So on the one hand, I want to win. (I was joking to Hunny Bunny about funding my retirement with poker; in retrospect it's probably the only avenue left for my later years if I wish to avoid eating cat food. Remember that fable about the grasshopper and the ant? Well, guess who's the grasshopper.) In order to win, I need to study the game better and brush off my rusty math skills. Which, to my lazy mind, sounds dangerously like work.

But on the other, I need poker. OK, maybe not NEED, that sounds ominously like a problem that can only be fixed by a 12-step programme. Playing poker keeps my mind engaged, makes me not only question myself and my actions but forces me to look at the answers. It's proven to be cheaper than therapy.

So, watch me as I walk the fine line between improving my poker game in a more serious manner, and making it so much of an drudge endeavor I lose interest. Between making it work (verb) and making it WORK (noun).

People. I beg you. PAY ATTENTION.

I've had the bike out 5 times so far this season, and have been put in a position of near death or injury 8 times. EIGHT TIMES. That's a whole new record. So I'd like to take this opportunity to remind cagers of some basic truths. Please pass them on, for the sake of riders everywhere.

It is spring. With warmer weather comes people on bikes and motorcycles. Unlike people who choose cars as transportation, we don't have the benefit of a tonne of steel around us as a shell. We're out there. If you hit us, it will hurt us. A lot.

According to physics, it is impossible for two objects to occupy the same point in space. So you CANNOT use my lane while I'm in it. Stop trying, because you're starting to really piss me off.

Get off my ass. Really. Rear-ending a bike is nothing at all like rear-ending a car that has bumpers and a protective frame. If I have to stop in a hurry, you're going to have my body as a hood ornament when you can't stop in time.

If you CANNOT drive AND talk on the cell phone safely at the same time, then please, by all that you hold dear, GET OFF THE FUCKING PHONE! If you absolutely MUST drive and talk, then get a hands free why dontcha.

And here's a little thought I'd like everyone to mull over....do you have ANY IDEA how much your insurance rates will jump if you kill a motorcyclist??? I'll bet it's a lot.

And here's a special shout out to two wonderful examples of drivers:

- to the arrogant prick in the Jag...Buddy do not DARE to give ME the finger when it's you who fucked up. Next time I will follow you to where ever you're going just so I can look you in the face as I call the police and report you. Hopefully I will have calmed down enough to resist the impulse to beat you over the head with my helmet.

- to the bubble-head who was so busy talking to her friend in the front seat that she didn't even look before she turned left, DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF ME. Thank god for good brakes. I did follow her into the parking lot to have a chat with. "Oh I'm so sorry, I didn't see you". OK, I wear a bright yellow jacket and have my high beam on at all times....HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU MISS ME, YOU SILLY BITCH??? Even her friend saw me for fuck's sake.

I really hope people start thinking soon, because I'm getting tired of having to do it for them.

(Thank for reading my rant....we return to our regularly scheduled programming.)

I love Wednesdays. I have it built into my contract that I have Wednesday afternoons off so I can see clients and run my business to augment my pittance of an income. That's not to say that I spend every Wednesday afternoon working.

Case in point: yesterday. I took the loooonng way home on my motorcycle because it was such a glorious day, making the 6 km ride home into 100+ kms. That's what I love about riding...it's never about the destination, but all about the journey.

Got home and booked my hotel room in Vegas for the WPBT (still sorta kinda looking for a roommate, FYI). And felt so damn good that I decided to play a $12 6-handed SnG on Stars.

A good table, with the exception of one guy, let's call him Fist Magnet (becuase you just long to punch him). We all know the type: "OOOO..I'm soooooo clever because I'm a last year law student. I know everything and will make gobs of money. I've read books about poker therefore I am a pro and you guys are stupid and play like morons". God he was yappy. I actually like silly little boys like this at my table, they're good for me. They're fun to taunt (yeah I'm mean, but he started it), and they force me to sit up straight and play killer poker, because I'm too stubborn to go out before an annoying trash-talkin' jerkwad kid like that. He bubbled, I placed ITM.

I did actually do some work for a client at this point, enough to pay for a day of sloth in Vegas. Have I mentioned how much I'm looking forward to it?!??!

Then I met Weak_Player on UB for part one of our HU Challenge. We played two games towards our best-of-seven; I won the first, he took the second. I must be getting better, I could clearly see the areas where he was mixing up his play. Looking forward to seeing where this goes. God, I hope I don't suck.

After a break to go out on the bicycle, I chilled and waited for the Mookie. I played for an hour or so with Sox on the .10/.25 table where I stayed pretty constant around my buyin, and left the table up a whole 80 cents. Yeah, I'm really going to pay for my retirement at this rate.

At 10 it was the Big "O". Ahhh, the Big "O". How embarassing. I was out FIRST when Hoyazo made a suckout flush, turning my KK into Hamlets quite effecctively. My denouement only took 5 minutes. Hoyazo has a good analysis of it here, which is even more embarrassing to re-live the next day. Sigh. Time to actually READ these poker blogs rather than skim. Thanks again to Mookie for setting it up (wow, 42 players this week!), and congrats to those who placed ITM. Hugs and a big aaawww to Jules who bubbled.

Hoyazo was not able to turn my chips into anything lasting, so I guilted him into a 18 person $5 SnG. Man, the cards were not favouring either of us, but somehow I managed to last to 4th so I at least I made some cash ($9). Hugs and a big aaawww to Hoyazo who bubbled.

I might take some time today to do some reading and digest what I've gleaned from yesterday's chats with Weak, Sox and Hoyazo. Or I may play.....

Number of times I was dealt 7-3 offsuit: 7

Number of times I was dealt the hammer: 1

Number of times I breathed a heavy sigh of relief after successfully dropping said hammer: 1

What I did when I knocked out Dr. Pauly with A-A vs. his 10-10: a little happy dance. It's wrong, I know...but like the shout-out on Iggy's blog, it makes me feel oddly validated.

How often I was annoyed by the player to my right: just about all the damn time

How I got deep scratches on my right hand: from being very, very angry at my cat after mistakenly clicking the call (or all in) button instead of the FOLD button while trying to push her out of the way of the screen (no, I did not hurt her....she really does not like being picked up, the fat lump). I am not making this up...I have done some pretty idiotic things at the tables, but there is NO WAY on god's green earth I would call an all-in bet with a pair of 3's.

Where I finished: 24th of 98.

Where the cat is going to be tomorrow for the Mookie, and for next week's WWdN: locked in the bedroom.

Edited August 2008

1. I will do anything, no matter how lame, to procrastinate from doing any actual work. Hence, my list.


2. I'm in my "fuck-off" forties. And I quite like it here.


3. I'm on marriage #2. The only way I can bear to think about marriage #1 is as "practice for the real one". This is definitely the real one.


4. Wedding #2 was in Las Vegas by an Elvis impersonator in 2003. It was my first trip to Las Vegas.


5. I don't particularly like Elvis, but I love Elvis impersonators.


6. I live within 50 miles of where I grew up, and can see the town from my window, across the lake.


7. I am a teacher, a profession I lucked into, and completely love. And not just for the holidays.


8. I teach typing, but have the worst typos on the planet.


9. The only time I don't typo is when I'm blind drunk.


10. I think that the Monty Python gang are the funniest people on the planet, followed closely by Douglas Adams.


11. My favourite movie is the Holy Grail by Monty Python, and can quote many parts of it with a good degree of accuracy.


12. My current second favourite movie is MirrorMask. The creativity and the animation leaves me breathless.
    Edit: Second place is now jointly occupied by Hero and the Kill Bills.
    


13. My answer to ANY stupid question is "42".


14. I think that Clive Barker and Neil Gaiman are the most brilliant writers I've read.


15. I have never been overseas.


16. The "Places I Must Go Before I Die" list includes Tuscany, Australia (must ride the Ocean Road), Venice, Cairo, and Alaska. There was more, but I decided to be realistic.
    Edit: Strike Alaska; been there.
    


17. The only inanimate object I feel any affection for is my 1985 Yamaha Virago 750 that I bought 6 years ago with 12,000 kms on it. It now has over 75,000 85,000 kms.
    Edit: It had 85k on it when I sold it. My new love is a 1998 Yamaha Virago 1100 with 61k on it.
    


18. I love the style of the bike, but I really wanted this one because I secretly liked the definition of the word Virago: "strong, courageous woman".


19. I have travelled over most of North America by motorcycle.


20. The best trip was to the Grand Canyon and through Utah…there are some very amazing roads and scenery.
    Edit: best trip was Alaska, hands down. For far more than the scenery or roads.
    


21. I will jump at any chance to wear black leather.


22. At 17 I became the first (and only) punk rocker in a rural high school filled with people who thought the Who and Supertramp were the epitome of fine music.


23. I have a good vocabulary and I'm not afraid to use it.


24. I have an unnatural affection for double salted licorice.


25. My desert island cd would either be Big Calm by Morcheeba or Pursuit of Happiness by Weekend Players.
    Edit: Add in Mezzanine by Massive Attack or some Social Distortion.
    


26. My least favourite music to listen to is Country and Western.


27. The whole "grunge" scene makes me angry, because it's not angry enough.


28. When listening to music or watching tv, the volume MUST be on an even number. I don't know why, it just does.


29. My favourite songs of all times are Lined Up by Shriekback and Jet Boy Jet Girl by Elton Motello.
    


30. I own a Hello Kitty vibrator that was given to me on my birthday by a friend. I will never use it because it just seems very, very wrong.


31. I hate pink.


32. I wear black almost exclusively. As I get older, I'm letting a few other colours in my wardrobe and actually have one bright red tank top.
    Edit: No I don't. After not wearing it for several years, I gave it to Gracie.
    


33. I don't often paint my fingernails, but toes must be sporting red nailpolish at all times.


34. I have three tattoos, and don't regret any of them.


35. I have one piercing in a place other than an ear. I had more but gave up.


36. The only forms of exercise I do are bicycling, rollerblading and swimming. But only if I really, really have to.


37. My hands shake pretty much all the time and have since I was a teenager. You can think it's a tell if you want, I won't stop you. Just know I'll use it against you.


38. My very first hand of poker was played live at Casino Rama on October 16th, 2004, the Canadian Thanksgiving weekend with Juliette. It was KK…I had no idea what I was doing but knew it was a good hand so kept raising. I lost the hand but got hooked on the adrenaline rush.


39. My favourite hand is QQ - I've gotten quads with it 4 5 times, and have only lost with it once. And that's because I'd just told Garth I never lose with them.
    Edit: the bitches are dead to me; dead! My new favourite hand is whatever holds up.
    


40. I've been colouring my hair since I was 18.


41. My hair has been a number of shades: blue, orange, black, red, purple…even leopard spotted for a very brief period.


42. I have never been blonde.


43. My first grey hair on my head was at 28, and didn't bother me that much. The first grey hair found elsewhere was at 38 and freaked me out for days. Weeks even.


44. I started drinking at 17. My first drink of choice was Black Russians, because that was what my ever-so-elegant cousin drank. I soon realized they were far too sweet, so from 19 to 27 my drink of choice was vodka on the rocks.


45. I stopped drinking for a year, about 8 years ago. I don't talk about why, but it was good for me.


46. I love beer. Luuuuuuuuuuvvvvv it. It might be because it's genetically coded with my last name though. I am distraught at the thought of missing this year's Festival of Beer :-(
    Edit: I have missed the FoB several times now; I've heard it's not what it used to be so am no longer so distraught.
    


47. I love martinis. The best one I have ever tasted was at the Martini Goddess's place. I thank her profusely for the recipe.
    Edit: Still the best. Ever. Leaves even the best from the Park Hyatt's Roof Lounge far behind.
    


48. I've experimented with drugs. I don't anymore.


49. I have never smoked cigarettes. Well there was that 3 week period during grade 9 when I caved to peer pressure, but always felt self-conscious and goofy so I stopped.


50. The most fun I have EVER had as an adult was the Charlie's Angels day through weekendtrips.com, with Jules, Su and Deb. The second most is in Vegas with bloggers and Loud.


51. I can't specify the most fun I ever had as a kid, because in retrospect it ALL seems fun. And yes, I feel very, very lucky because I can say that.


52. If I had the money, I would shop at Northbound Leather (see #21) WARNING: this is a fetish clothing site and IS NOT SAFE FOR WORK


53. Since I don't have money I shop at Value Village.


54. My best score EVER at Value Village was a pair of brand new, 8-hole Doc Martins in my size for $20. And it was on my birthday.


55. I am a geek, but a software geek, not a hardware geek. I will play around for hours with PhotoShop and Flash, and will edit the html and css on my blogs just because I'm bored. I will send people email in binary because it makes me giggle. But ask me to install a sound card or configure a network and I will give you a dirty look while handing you the phone number of someone who can come in and do that for you.


56. I think the T-shirts at ThinkGeek.com are too too funny and I want them all.
    


57. I am afraid of heights and tall bridges. This makes going anywhere south of the St. Lawrence Seaway and Great Lakes on the bike an interesting route-mapping problem.


58. I am not afraid of spiders, mice, rats, snakes, or bugs. But that stuff in the strainer after you've done the dishes and drained the water gives me the willies.


59. I miss living in the country during those long summer days when the world seems to stand still.


60. I don't miss living in the country every time I want to order food to be delivered, desire something other than pizza or Szechuan, want to shop for cd's at 11pm, find an underground poker game/bar or need to take a bus anywhere at anytime.


61. I like to think of myself as a jaded fuck, yet I still go "ooooooo" at fireworks and cry during some movies/ty shows and all those commercials for the Church of Latter Day Saints that I don't get muted in time.


62. I think that people who refer to themselves as Mummy and Daddy when talking to their pets are a bit touched in the head.


63. I like kids and dogs; but have never felt the need to live with either on a full time basis.


64. My favourite magazine is Mental Floss, followed closely by ReadyMade and Bust.
    Edit: Craft is pretty damn cool, too.
    


65. My favourite saying is "I doubt, therefore I might be."


66. I read. A lot.


67. For the last 3 summers I have re-read the Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter series by Laurell K Hamilton, adding on any new ones she's written in the interim (she's up to 14 of them). It takes me a few days. I always feel a bit drained afterwards…not sure if it's the writing, the action, or the sex scenes.
    Edit: make that 4 summers.
    


68. I still own music on vinyl. Which I still listen to, scratches and all.


69. I haven't listened to a broadcast radio station since discovering commercial free internet radio.


70. When in places where there is no internet radio, ie the car, I listen to the jazz station. Comments from Hunny Bunny about me being in my "Carlsberg years" usually follow.


71. I love how the internet has opened up communication between people. Blogs, email, chats….we're able to meet and get to know people without letting the visual filters get in the way.


72. I hate how some people use the anonymity of the internet to be complete and utter jerks. Oh, I've got stories.


73. You can choose your friends, but you're stuck with your family, as the saying goes. In my case though a lot of my family also happens to be my friends.


74. The last one is a recent development. If you'd told me that when I was 30, I'd have looked at you pityingly and wondered what meds you'd missed.


75. I'm a crafty girl. I knit and crochet, embroider, design and build stained glass pieces and generally goof around. But it's more a craftster.org kind of craft, not a quilted ducks and country sheep kind of craft.


76. My best project is tied between a big shawl/scarf I knitted 6 months ago and some clothes I made for my niece.
    Edit: best project is a wrap-around sweater that I kinda designed as I went along.
    


77. My worst project is a tank top I'm knitting from this nice cotton/wool blend I got cheap on eaby. It's supposed to be black, but was sold as seconds as it's more of a deep black coffee colour. I think the yarn is under a spell cast by a wicked witch who read Goldilocks and the Three Bears. This is the fourth time I've tried to make a summer top from it, and so far the end result has been too big, too small, and too short. This iteration is shaping up to be too lumpy. I'll keep you posted if I ever get it "just right". Update 07/06: it's been frogged, another top partially knit and then frogged again. I give up. The cursed yarn is going to Goodwill.
    Edit: After languishing for a while I gave it one more shot. See above new best project.
    


78. The project I may never finish is a pattern called Rogue; a knitted cardigan with a hood that has all these great celtic knotwork cables throughout. I love it, but my attention span is this -> <- long and this project requires far more from me than that.
    Edit: Finished! Finally!
    


79. The first nickname I can remember having is Ginger Ale when I was in public school. Yep. Kids were so original back then.


80. My face when relaxed makes me look grumpy and frowny. Which makes drunken little girls in nightclubs perkily chirp "You'd be so much prettier if you smiled". This happens more often than you might think. My usual response is "Fuck off", which usually (and thankfully) dims the perkiness.


81. I hate perky. Perky people make me wonder what they're hiding. PPMD.


82. I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON. I need to be eased into my day. Slowly.


83. To facilitate this, my beloved brings me coffee in bed every morning when he's home. Honestly, I think the world should thank him for this.


84. A day without coffee is a day spent just lurching from moment to moment in a daze. I only really function anymore if I'm appropriately caffeinated.


85. In my next life, I'd like to come back as a house cat. I think eating the same crappy food every day is a suitable trade-off for 20 hours worth of naps every day.


86. I lost my virginity in an Alpha Romeo Spyder. I look back fondly on those days when I was that limber and flexible. It was with a boy I had just met that afternoon. We dated for a year after that.


87. My first car was a brand new 1980 Honda Civic in "Frosted Green", a colour also know as "Iced Snot" by my friends. I loved that car. I drove it so much I killed it.


88. I'm vain enough that I think it's pretty damn nifty when very hip and sophisticated 17-year-olds will tell me how cool I look/am on my motorcycle, without a trace of irony or sarcasm in their voice.


89. Some people get turned on by a great face, body or wicked sense of humour. Me, I dig deep bedroom voices. Alan Rickman, Clive Owen, Benicio Del Toro, GCox....they all make me shiver. Hunny Bunny has the best deep bedroom voice. Ever. It makes me shiver right down to my toes.


90. My favourite flavour is black currant.


91. I've been goofing around on the internet since 1995, when I signed up with one of the first ISP's in Toronto, called Passport.ca


92. They put out a local telnet baset chat up shortly after I signed up. I may have gone a tad overboard at first (Jules, shhh), but without it I would not have met Hunny Bunny or my best bud Jules. Yes, you read right...I met my husband in a chat room. Again, thanks to Bozak and Kludge, for putting up the Dyslexicon.


93. I am the black sheep of my family. Yeah, I'll bet that's a shocker. Everyone was sure it'd be my younger brother, but he met the right woman.


94. I moved out when I was 22, and didn't go back to visit for over 6 months. During that time I cut my hair very, very short, dyed it black and had my ears pierced just about all the way up. I walked in the door, and the first thing my dad did was laugh and say "yes, just what you need...more holes in your head". I laughed with him, because he was right. That was the first time I realized my dad was a funny, ok kind of guy


95. I wish I had more stories about my mum, but she got breast cancer when I was 16, and understandably so, became a bit preoccupied with fighting for her life for next 12 years. I still miss her, and the lost possibilities.


96. I would rather learn 100 different ways to say "Would you like fries with that" than become a telemarketer. I don't think I could handle rejection on that scale.


97. I have no religious affiliation. Nor do I want one.


98. I've inherited my mum's and aunt's good crystal, china and silverware, bought in the 50's when a girl had to have these things in her hope chest. After amalgamating both sets, I now have enough to really "entertain" and put on a meal for 12, from sherry glasses and sherbert cups to shrimp forks and coffee spoons.


99. I don't much like entertaining. I like having people over to hang out, but the whole Martha Stewart experience escapes me.


100. I do not have a green thumb. I don't even want to think of the many lush plants I've carried proudly from the store/market/florists only to watch in growing horror as they drop leaves, develop spots and turn brown within a week.

"I had outs."

Enough said.

Went with my best pal Su to go see Jello Biafra, fromer Dead Kennedys frontman, do a spoken word show, which was awesome. Man, that guy is a very dangerous combination of funny, smart and angry. I wish I could remember even half the stuff he said...he hit everything from politics to media to New Orleans to Celine Dion (anteater in a gown, omg that was funny shit).

Afterwards we went for dinner (which was so-so) and beer (which was awesome). Mill Street Brewery is quickly becoming my favourite micro brewery - their Tankhouse Ale could easily become my downfall.

Take for example last night: 5 pints later I'm feeling very very happy when Su drops me back home, but it's early and I'm still lucid (relatively speaking) so I log on to Yahoo and play some poker. Missed getting in a SnG with Hoyazo (sorry dude, you'll have to augment your notes on me another time *grin), so played it so loose it was insane. at one point I was down to 100 chips but built it back up by going all-in 6 hands in a row AND WINNING. Man that was fun...again it seems the poker gods only smile on me when i play to lose. Go figure.

After that was done (placed 3rd, thank you very much) I followed Veneno and Waffles to a ring game that I thought was No Limit. It wasn't until Waffles made a comment about my Limit play that I realized that, no, it wasn't a NLHE. Hey, I was drunk! Or at least that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

I didn't like being sitting with Waffles on my right, so I left (no I was not pissed at you Waffles, sheesh), to get another seat. By the time I got back on, it was like a blogger convention. One good thing about Limit play, you can be a complete drunken goober and not lose too much too quickly. At one point I was down to 6 bucks from my $10 starting, and when I got up to $17 I decided it was time to get myself to bed.

So after what seems like 20 mintues of sleep, I'm off to Easter brunch with my mother's side of the family. Good thing about it, it's a nice enough day that I can take the bike back out again (YAY!).

...for obsessions to collide.

Time to split my free time between poker and this:

Drink Coffee!
Do stupid things faster and with more energy.

I have a love/hate relationship with technology most days...I love the possibilities I.T. promises, but I HATE how hard you have to work to realize even half of it's potential (ask me someday about the wireless network at the school).

Last night was a good night for poker and IT. As I was playing, chatting with Yahoo Voice and doing Dial-A-Shot™ it occurred to me...how great is this?!? I can party and drink and chat with friends while still indulging in my hermit lifestyle, ie slobbing around in my pj's because I can't find the energy or incentive to get off my ass and get dressed. Definitely a Life Is Good moment. Of course winning a HU with Weak then a few SnG's certainly helped me in feeling good (or was it the alcohol? hmm...).

---------------------------------

I was looking for the HTML code for the Trademark symbol and ran across these:
     &spades; ♠ 

     &clubs; ♣  

     &hearts; ♥  

     &diams; ♦  

---------------------------------

Got a really nice email from a new poker blogger CarmenSinCity, complimenting my blog...awww, thanks! *blush.

Well that was fun. No, really, it was!

I knew going into it that there was a very slim chance I'd win the Mookie Big "O" for the third straight time. Three reasons: 1) the cards have been running cold, 2) I'm not taht great of a player in that I keep making some serious bonehead mistakes, and last but not least, 3) after winning two in a row, I had a huge target on my forehed.

But I think I did well. I folded lots, which meant that when I played utter crap aggressively I was able to blind steal easily. I did get some good cards, and hovered around 8-10th place most of the game. Honestly, I was just happy to make it to the final table! I was thinking to myself, "hey self - you could actually place ITM!" when two things happened at once: I got pocket tens and Hunny Bunny took that precise moment to tell me about his day.

Now I'm a good wife, relatively speaking, and haven't really seen a lot him so I pay attention to him while still thinking that pocket tens are pretty keen. It's been proven that I kinda suck at multitasking, and this causes me to go all-in with Rocco who, of course, makes his flush on the river. In retrospect I think I played it like an idiot, but the general consensus that he played it worse. Doesn't matter, I'm out in 7th.

Now after all the fun with binary, and talking about the bounty phrase (which you don't HAVE to say btw), Rocco was probably the only person who didn't know about it. And since he didn't mention it, I still have it and will offer as bounty for next week's Big "O". See ya there!

Did the PokerSavvy Freeroll last night and the WWDN. Why, oh why, did they have to be at the same time??

Start the freeroll...and I'm out first. For the first time ever in an online tourney. And in less than ten hands I believe. No excuse, not paying attention and distracted. Forgot the basic lessons of 1) don't marry your pocket pair and 2) pay attention to the betting. Ignoring those two things leads to 3) being reminded that AA beats ten ten. Lost to Matt from PokerSavvy, who maybe will take pity on me next time like this gets set up.

On to the WWdN...doing ok there. I make a lot of chips from StB when I flop a full house and slowplay his ass right to the end (god, that feels good!). I manage to last past the break, but when hunny bunny gets home I get distracted once again (in a good way this time) and I donk off most of my chips to Boobie Lover and the rest to 23skidoo within moments. I'd like to say what the hands were, but hey, I was distracted *grin.

So tonight is the Mookie Big O, and since I've won the last two in a row, I get the funny feeling that people are going to be gunning for me. So to make it even more...interesting...I'm going to put a bounty on my head. I'm not going to tell you what it is (it's poker related and I'll have to mail it to you), and I'm not going to mention it tonight. So you have to have read it here and tell me when you take me out in order for me to offer it up. Or just decode and say the secret password (*grin):

0100100100100000011000010110110100100000
0111010101101110011101110110111101110010
0111010001101000011110010010000001110100
0110111100100000011010000110000101110110
0110010100100000011010110110111001101111
0110001101101011011001010110010000100000
0110111101110101011101000010000001110011
0111010101100011011010000010000001100001
0010000001100111011011110110010001100100
0110010101110011011100110010111000100000
0101000001101100011001010110000101110011
0110010100100000011001100110111101110010
0110011101101001011101100110010100100000
011011010110010100101110

God, I'm such a geek.

And Donkey1, you ain't her.

PS, if you wanna be me (and I wouldn't recommned it. I don't even want to be me somedays), always remember the following:

1) I typo in IMs. A LOT.
2) I don't sound that damned perky. Well maybe once or twice, but I being facetious to make a point (PPMD).
3) I only beg under a very specific set of circumstances, and darlin', a fucking freeroll is nowhere on that list.
4) Did I mention typos in IM?????

Honestly. It's really quite laughable.

Bottom lip quivers, rage is so apparent,
Don't know whether to kill or cry,
Don't know how to read beneath the turning,
You don't know how to say goodbye.
~ Unsound, The Headstones

Was listening to loud and obnoxious music on the way in to school this morning, when this song came up. I love the Headstones, and think they're one of the best bands to come out of Canada IMHO. They kick some serious ass...of course it could just be that the lead singer, Hugh Dillon, has the voice and the look that dark fantasies are made of. But I digress....

This song made me think of how I felt far too many times while playing poker this weekend. I won't bore you with bad beats, there were many of them. And also mistakes were made, errors in judgement on my part. But it didn't matter what happened, who's "fault" it was...I felt enraged when the cards didn't fall as they should. And instead of stopping, what did I do....I walked away until I think I calmed down, then came back for more. Eventually I came to my senses, stopped the insanity and closed the laptop, but not until late Sunday.

Now I know I'm at the wrong end of the hormone rollercoaster atm, but I don't recall ever feeling that depth of negative emotion over anything (not even my ex-husband). So other than my home game tonight (god, I hope they don't read this today), and the WWdN and Mookie, I think I may take some time off from poker this week.

But then again...who am I kidding, lol?!??!

----------------

Jules...this is for you. Enjoy!

This is it. I'm done with it. Any further efforts to pretty it up will only fuck it up more. So this it.

There will be no more posts on CSS, WWW, HTML or any other internet programming related acronyms.

We return to our regular programming.

It's happened....CSS has brought me to my knees.

This iteration of the blog looks and works GREAT in IE...but now the fucking background image doesn't show up in Firefox.

GODDAMITALLTOHELL!!!!!!!!!

Sigh.

Since the blog was still causing some people's IE to crash, I've spent some time today out in the sunshine with my laptop (wireless is working, w00t) fixing the problem. I think it's a bit boring (sigh) but who cares as long as it works, right?

So let me know if anymore problems.

A while ago, someone (I don't remember who) posted this link with 400+ hand names. He's missing some though - the poker blogosphere has certainly added to the lexicon: Hamlets for KK, Bitches for QQ, and the ubiquitous HAMMER.

I back tracked his URL, and he has other fun pages...I especially like his Poker Truisms page.

My personal favs:

• Even a blind squirrel finds a nut eventually. LOL!
  
• For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. Remind you of anyone we know and love? *grin.
  
• Hell hath no fury like the hole cards of a woman scorned. Oh. My. Yes.
  
• Omaha is a game that was invented by a Sadist and is played by Masochists. This explains a lot actually.
  
• Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant. Self explanatory.
  
• The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about poker. Oh yeah. We've all played with them. The I've-read-one-book-and-watched-TV-therefore-I-am-a-poker-god. May they all play long enough to realize how dumb they truly sound.
  
• There are two kinds of river cards: cards that mathematically predictable, and ?*&$%#!!!. I've had both...I do like the former version much more.
  
• and the all time best: You never really learn to swear until you learn to play poker.. OMFG, is this one ever accurate. My fucking language has deteriorated; I swear at assholes and shitty cards all the goddamn time. The full version of MoFo spills off my lips without the slightest hesitation (a computer monitor fell on my foot at school, and MoFo slipped out before I could stop it...luckily it was said quietly and the only one who heard was a grade 11 student. But still...) And Jules' favourite, Sperm Burping Gutter Slut, is said without even the slightest hint of irony anymore. I seriously need to watch my language a bit. Maybe.

It is estimated that 70% of high achievers feel like imposters, certain that the present level of achievement does not result from true ability and they will be found out or others will discover the fraud they really are. The Imposter Complex is doubting and discrediting your abilities and achievements. Are you really good or have you just fooled everyone? Sometimes we agree with a person’s compliments but deep inside we deny it to ourselves.
~ Jan D'Arcy

Hoyazo left an interesting comment to my last post that's really made me think. Basically, he said he's not buying my "I'm not very good at poker and am going to get slapped down soon by people far, far better than me" crap anymore.

So why am I still buying it? I've been told lately that my game has improved dramatically, and while I may sort-of-kind-of think they're right, I don't believe. And it's that lack of belief and confidence that is crippling during tournaments. I've got shake this before Vegas in July, or I am dead meat.

-----------------------

On to last night, the Mookie Big O tourney - don't ask me how it happened but I won! That's two in a row....I'm shocked. I'm happy, but I'm shocked. And in the back of my head is that little voice that says "Lucky, that's all...next week they'll find out how badly you SUCK".

Many thanks again to Mookie for setting these up...I ahve so much fun, if only to see if I can outlast SirF yet again (I'm now at 6 for 6, a stat that gives me no end of pleasure *grin).

Come to PokerStars next Wednesday..the more the merrier!!!!

Supplies purchased for an evening spent sitting in front of the computer (sodas, martinis, popcorn): Six dollars and twenty-five cents.
Playing the WPBT WSOP: Thirty-three dollars.
Feeling inadequate and outclassed: Priceless.

Imagine the utter dismay of a relative poker newbie to find herself seated at a table with Spaceman, BG, Columbo, and seated to her right is none other than the Blogfather himself.

I believe my first thought was "Oh. Shit.", followed closely by "This is gonna be short, deep stacks notwithstanding."

Somehow I managed to hold on to just past the second break (my pair o' King's met April's pocket Aces and were found wanting), ending 51 out of 93. I was challenged to better myself by playing good poker, and I feel that I did a good job there. But frankly, my table mates scared the crap out of me. I mean, these are guys who live and work poker. And not only that, they know each other - they IM, they dial-a-shot, they've met.

Reputation is everything....and these guys got big ones.

Have gotten emails from Guin and Fat Bald Guy, stating that my blog is still crashing Internet Explorer. Sigh. My apologies to all - I'll be looking at it this week. But seriously....why the heck isn't everyone using Firefox?

This is turning out to be far more work than I'd anticipated.

Saturday night was a blast at Taylor and Tawny's.

Martinis were drunk:
The Martini Goddess would be pleased. We mixed up her recipe and agreed it was truly nectar of the gods. Then we hit upon the ever-so-brilliant idea that rather than mix them two martinis at a time (one recipe - two glasses), we should mix up a batch of four. And then it hit us - if a batch of four was good, then a batch of TEN was even better; this was immediately followed by the plan of mixing TWENTY. Which filled the pitcher and emptied the vodka bottle.

Poker was played:
The Poker Goddess would be pleased. I played really well, aggressively taking some pots. Hunny Bunny actually sat down and played, and for what I believe to be the first and last time.....it's really not his thing (a fact that I'm secretly pleased about, truth be told). I faded early due to not enough sleep the last few nights (gee, wonder why) and again tried to push with pocket 8's. Taylor pushed back harder, and my subconscious again ignored the signs and went all in. Duh. His Jacks held, and I was out in 3rd. But at least it was ITM. I tried to make it to the second game, but I was pretty much done in.

Tawny, thank you so much for the martinis and the cake.....YOU ROCK!!!!

I shit you not.

I love birthdays. I love birthdays spent with my friends. I love birthdays spent with my friends that involve large amounts of laughter and alcohol.

The details of the night are blissfully fuzzy. I remember dinner with Dustin at Cafe Nervosa (ok, ok, not with him per se, but he was about 5 feet away. It still counts.), then off to the Rooftop Bar of the Park Hyatt for Joe's awesome martinis. If you are ever in TO, you need to go there. Joe rocks!

I think that's where the drunk dialing/dial-a-shots started. Since AlCantHang gave me my first dial-a-shot, he got the first call. After that it again gets all fuzzy. I don't remember how we got there, but we did end the night with beer at Hemingways. More dial-a-shots and drunk dialing ensued. Questions of deep significance were posed to perfect strangers, ie: "If an attractive woman walked up to you and kissed you out of the blue, what would you do?" or "Kat needs to get a birthday present for herself: should she get poker software, an iPod or a new tattoo?" or "Do you in fact eat the red ones last?" (for the folks south of the border, it relates to a Canadian candy). Dammit, I wish I could remember the responses to any of these.

I barely remember getting home, and yes I did think that playing poker at 3:30 am might be fun. However after trying to type chat to SirF I realized that perhaps my judgment might be slightly impaired, too much so for winning poker. Is this the wisdom thingy that they keep saying comes with age?

And now I've napped and am ready to for Birthday Fun Part Two - poker and martinis at Taylor and Tawny's.

God, I love birthdays.