Poker Truisms

A while ago, someone (I don't remember who) posted this link with 400+ hand names. He's missing some though - the poker blogosphere has certainly added to the lexicon: Hamlets for KK, Bitches for QQ, and the ubiquitous HAMMER.

I back tracked his URL, and he has other fun pages...I especially like his Poker Truisms page.

My personal favs:

  • Even a blind squirrel finds a nut eventually. LOL!
  • For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. Remind you of anyone we know and love? *grin.
  • Hell hath no fury like the hole cards of a woman scorned. Oh. My. Yes.
  • Omaha is a game that was invented by a Sadist and is played by Masochists. This explains a lot actually.
  • Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant. Self explanatory.
  • The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about poker. Oh yeah. We've all played with them. The I've-read-one-book-and-watched-TV-therefore-I-am-a-poker-god. May they all play long enough to realize how dumb they truly sound.
  • There are two kinds of river cards: cards that mathematically predictable, and ?*&$%#!!!. I've had both...I do like the former version much more.
  • and the all time best: You never really learn to swear until you learn to play poker.. OMFG, is this one ever accurate. My fucking language has deteriorated; I swear at assholes and shitty cards all the goddamn time. The full version of MoFo spills off my lips without the slightest hesitation (a computer monitor fell on my foot at school, and MoFo slipped out before I could stop it...luckily it was said quietly and the only one who heard was a grade 11 student. But still...) And Jules' favourite, Sperm Burping Gutter Slut, is said without even the slightest hint of irony anymore. I seriously need to watch my language a bit. Maybe.

5 Responses to “Poker Truisms”

  1. # Blogger mookie99

    Don't forget about these gems:
    A7 - The Tourist
    T8 - The Mook  

  2. # Blogger SirFWALGMan

    Hey! I am always saying nice things about you.. between the Nah Nah Nah's!  

  3. # Blogger Garthmeister J.

    Wait wait, I missed something. What is wrong with sperm burping gutter sluts again?  

  4. # Blogger katitude

    Waffles... that is true, and I appreciate it...however I do love listening to you critique the play of unknown donkeys tho *grin.

    But it honestly makes me wonder what u said about me before we started chatting, lol.  

  5. # Blogger Jules

    My charming and eloquent vocabulary degrades proportionately to the amount of poker that I play....:)

    But yes, there are Sperm Burping Gutter Sluts in the world, and they crack rockets with 83o  

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    Katitude



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