Proving that there's no illusion like a Self Delusion..


When I was running my business full time, I had a great mentor who said, "how can you know where you're going unless you know where you've been?". This was his oblique way of saying "Plan your finances, you silly woman!".

Let me state right freaking now, for the record, I am not good with planning, and I tend to take the ostrich approach to most things involving my money. If I can't see it, it ain't happening. During times of dire financial difficulty in the past, I have left envelopes unopened for days and weeks just because they looked like a bill (one was actually a largish cheque, d'oh!).

Now I try to act more like a grown up (dammit, stop laughing J!). I face the bills; I open all envelopes. I'm no longer sailing my ship called Denial across the wide accountant-sea (nod to Monty Python intended). I plan, I budget. I'm....an.....ORGANIZED WOMAN!! (insert mental picture of me with hands on hips, superhero cape flowing behind me).

But.

When it comes to poker, I've reverted back to being ostrich girl. So if I want to win, to go forward in this game, I need to know where I've been. In my head I thought I'd spent under a hundred/month since hitting the cash tables 6 month ago. I'm not too worried about this figure; I've spent more on booze in a weekend than this and had less fun.

But after looking at my numbers on SharkScope I've come face to face with the financial consequences of my dabbling. And I'm less sanguine about my losses now that I see charts and proof.

And it's made me mad. Not tilty mad; rather it's-time-to-get-my-shit-together mad. I hate having my illusions stripped away.

1 Responses to “Proving that there's no illusion like a Self Delusion..”

  1. # Blogger Jestocost

    Hey. Your numbers are worse than mine! Who knew that was possible?

    Seriously, I wouldn't (and haven't) put too much stock into what Sharkscope shows. I've seen numbers that show negative earnings and a positive ROI, among other things.  

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    Katitude



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