Motorcycle Tilt (non-poker content ahead)

People. I beg you. PAY ATTENTION.

I've had the bike out 5 times so far this season, and have been put in a position of near death or injury 8 times. EIGHT TIMES. That's a whole new record. So I'd like to take this opportunity to remind cagers of some basic truths. Please pass them on, for the sake of riders everywhere.

It is spring. With warmer weather comes people on bikes and motorcycles. Unlike people who choose cars as transportation, we don't have the benefit of a tonne of steel around us as a shell. We're out there. If you hit us, it will hurt us. A lot.

According to physics, it is impossible for two objects to occupy the same point in space. So you CANNOT use my lane while I'm in it. Stop trying, because you're starting to really piss me off.

Get off my ass. Really. Rear-ending a bike is nothing at all like rear-ending a car that has bumpers and a protective frame. If I have to stop in a hurry, you're going to have my body as a hood ornament when you can't stop in time.

If you CANNOT drive AND talk on the cell phone safely at the same time, then please, by all that you hold dear, GET OFF THE FUCKING PHONE! If you absolutely MUST drive and talk, then get a hands free why dontcha.

And here's a little thought I'd like everyone to mull you have ANY IDEA how much your insurance rates will jump if you kill a motorcyclist??? I'll bet it's a lot.

And here's a special shout out to two wonderful examples of drivers:

- to the arrogant prick in the Jag...Buddy do not DARE to give ME the finger when it's you who fucked up. Next time I will follow you to where ever you're going just so I can look you in the face as I call the police and report you. Hopefully I will have calmed down enough to resist the impulse to beat you over the head with my helmet.

- to the bubble-head who was so busy talking to her friend in the front seat that she didn't even look before she turned left, DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF ME. Thank god for good brakes. I did follow her into the parking lot to have a chat with. "Oh I'm so sorry, I didn't see you". OK, I wear a bright yellow jacket and have my high beam on at all times....HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU MISS ME, YOU SILLY BITCH??? Even her friend saw me for fuck's sake.

I really hope people start thinking soon, because I'm getting tired of having to do it for them.

(Thank for reading my rant....we return to our regularly scheduled programming.)

4 Responses to “Motorcycle Tilt (non-poker content ahead)”

  1. # Blogger SirFWALGMan

    Freaking Cagers! You need to start carying a chain in your pack, and when they get to close to your bumper throw the chain through there windshield!

    I so do not get that.. I see a bike and I am like giving it 4 car lengths because I do not want to accidently kill a person..  

  2. # Blogger Garthmeister J.

    The odds of people starting to think are not good. Just sayin'.  

  3. # Blogger katitude

    Waffles I knew a guy who would carry pennies in his pocket, so when someone got too close he could flick them over his shoulder until people got the message.  

  4. # Blogger Hammer Player a.k.a Hoyazo

    Kat, I love thinking of you out on your bike, kicking people's asses and taking names. Springtime is the best, for sure.

    So listen, I've been thinking about that bounty you owe me for my suckout against you in the Mookie tournament the other day. I'm about to add a blogroll to my blog, and it might be time for a nice banner on the top, if you are still willing to fulfill your bounty with a banner for me. We can chat about the details but in general I'm willing to go with wherever your creativity leads you with a banner befitting the Hammer Player himself. Let me know what you think.  

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