That was a fun night. The play in the Birthday Party Martini (as TenMile calls it) was a good mix of donk and shark, and us donks that busted migrated over to some peep and sng's for more silly fun.

Congrats to Pokerwolf, Gus and on_thg for making the money. Thank you to everyone for the good wishes and IM-a-shots. And a big thanks to 23skidoo and Mrs. 23skidoo for the many dial-a-shots *grin.

The consensus of the girlie chat is that a nice blogger donkament at the end of the week is good for some stress release. So how does everyone feel about a game next Friday? Maybe a $2 horse or a $1 rebuy *grin.

It's funny, because it's true.

It's Friday. I got paid today. I got enough sleep last night. The sun is shining. The last vestiges of snow have melted. And I'm playing drunken donkey poker with my pals tonight:


Come and relieve me of my buyin, and then more at the usual blogger cast table. Wheeeeeeeeee!

* * * * * * * * * * * *
Poker math:

MATH + Mookie + Riverchasers x 13 weeks =


I'm in!

* * * * * * * * * * * *

There's another BritBloggerment this Sunday on Stars. It was great fun last week, and I'm definitely up for another round. Even if I'm not fully recovered from the night before.

I walked home from work today (6 kms) and realized that spring has sprung. Finally

There's one house I like to walk past, a small, nondescript gray house with a scarlet front door. A gardener lives there; the yard is a living palette of colours from the time the snow melts until it falls again. The crocuses and snowdrops are out now, the first ones I've seen, and the littel purple violets are just starting to bud.

A bit past there is a pedestrian bridge over a small ravine where I like to stop, pull out the earbuds and listen. It was quiet today as I stood in the sun, with only the faint gurgle of the stream and the song of a few robins to break the soft white noise of the wind through the bare trees.

When I got up to the apartment and looked out, I could see across the lake to Niagara Falls and the Welland Canal slightly to the west. The canal must have just opened and I sat at the rather uncomfortable table at the window so I could watch as 6 lake freighters slid past over a period of an hour.

As I played a token frenzy (won it) and a peep (ITM, no token) I watched a pair red tailed hawks alternate between fixing their nest from last year and soaring on the currents caused by the valley and the buildings.

It's all left me feeing quite mellow and peaceful.

Which is a good thing.

Otherwise I'd had hurled my laptop out the effing window at the number of times I was dealt absolute and utter crap in the Mookie tonight. I counted 5x that I was dealt 63 offsuit - there were more but I stopped counting. I got a bit pushy when I was short stacked and managed to get a flush off of Biggestron to give me some breathing room, which I promptly lost back to him with interest when another flush failed to appear against his KK.

Good game as always, and as always I take my victories where I can: I outlasted Waffles *grin.

Why don't they make these in women's styles/sizes???

I love playing around with graphics and web design. Love it. That's why I'm still running the biz as a sideline even though I have this nice paid teaching gig.

I don't do big sites, but specialize in small SOHO business get a web presence. And usually it's pretty rewarding.

Usually.

But sometimes I get a client, and my "spidey sense" gets all tingly with a this is going to be a pain in the ass job kind of tingle. I've got that tingle now. I didn't when I took the job and cashed his deposit cheque. I didn't get it when he said "you're a professional, I trust your judgement" after me asking him for direction on colours, text, layout, etc. I didn't get it when I stayed up late to finish his concepts.

I do have it now after the "I don't like any of these" conversation.

So dear Client; please remember that I am not a fucking mind reader. If you know what you want, howz about you communicate that before I waste any more of my time and your money?? Oh yeah buddy, I'm billing you for those concepts. And you're now going to get hit with the YAPITA charge* that I will now hide as something else.

* * * * * * * * *

Neteller. Sigh. Good thing it's not my primary mode of transferring funds.

* * * * * * * * *

FYI, my birthday is actually Saturday. As much as I love you all, there is no way I'm staying home on my birthday, bathed in the blue glow of my laptop screen. Hunny Bunny is taking me out to a lovely dinner and then to a show.

Please come and play some drunken donkey poker with me on Friday night. You know you want to *grin.


Yes, I know it's a lame graphic - work is cutting into my goofing off time again!

* * * * * * * * *

*YAPITA - you're a pain in the ass

Fold is not in my vocabulary - however I do make tactical concessions.
~ Quixote8 in the BritBloggerment

I think that has to be the best line I've ever 'heard' in a tourney chat. Thanks to LittleAcornMan for setting it up. I finished 11th out of 22, crippled when Cadmunkey's AA actually held up. It was a nice way to end the weekend, with a bit of a giggle.

Speaking of giggles, next weekend is my birthday. The best thing about being a grown up (which I realize is open to interpretation in my case) is that birthdays can be what you want, and can last as long as you want. And what I want is to hang out with my IFF's for some laughs. And since I can't afford to fly everyone to Vegas for a party (I need to get much better at poker), I figure setting up a private tourney is the next best thing.

So come on, play in a donkament on Friday, March 30th at 9 PM EST. I'm sure there will be Dial-A-Shots and IM-A-Shots, but sadly no cake as the logistics would be horrendous. The wearing of party hats is entirely up to you.

Tournament #15387473, Katitude's Poker Night
Password: martini
Date: Friday, March 30
Where: Full Tilt Poker
Time: 9:00 EST
Buyin: $10+ $1
Game: NLHE

Please pass the word. See you Friday for some fun!

Happy Sunday to one and all; this is my last day before heading back to work, alas.

Sigh.

Yeah, I know I get zero sympathy from you lot for having two weeks off, but can you blame me for being less than enamoured with the thought of forcing knowledge into the heads of teenagers who think they know every damn thing anyway?

So today will be spent in one last day of procrastination on an epic scale. I resolve to continue to do nothing that I'm really supposed to be doing (creating lesson plans and assignments, courses of study, summative evaluations) to prepare for the next term. Because why should next term be any different, really?

Ok, laundy is the exception. I have to do laundry today.

So for those who also have nothing planned for today, might suggest you join the BritBlogger tournament on Poker Stars at 4pm EST? You don't have to be a Brit to join...I understand colonials and former colonials are also welcome.


And while reading LittleAcornMan's blog, I clicked through to Rosie's Girlie Poker Blog. Her last post is so good, I'm tempted to repost it here in it's entirety, but am to lazy to really do anything other than link it. I may build myself one of these later if I run out of ways to continue to put off doing what needs to be done for tomorrow; the accompanying poker prayer is perfect.

The Five Minute Poker Shrine

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I won't be spending the weekend at the Martin Goddess' place.

Insert pouty face here.

What am I doing then?

Stupid shit like this:


10 FPP + 1.75 hours - 3700-ish donkeys = $0.41

I feel like I should maybe apologize for the last post, but I'm not going to.

I do appreciate the comments...they've definitely helped clarify why I felt so blah after cashing in a blogger game.

I cashed. In a blogger game. And still whined.

This is me giving my head a shake. Seriously, WTF?

See, I wasn't able to adapt to the game, and my expectations stayed the same even after it was evident that my expectations weren't the same as the majority of the table. The rest of the final table's expectations were to kick some ass and take it down. I signed up for tourney for entertainment purposes. No, I don't expect you guys to chat and entertain me, but most blogger games have a certain element of silliness that I was looking forward to. I wasn't having fun on the final table, but like in the WWdN, I got my stubborn on and hung in out of sheer perversity.

And holy crap....I came in THIRD!

I'm the silly one. No one can help me get out of this low-level funk of combined boredom/loneliness/unhappiness but me - it's a bit much to expect from online poker after all *grin.

Anyway....

I have had a fairly successful day today...I've placed ITM in 4 out of 5 SnG's today and made a longer sleeved version of this in a sinfully soft silk/angora blend while watching Rome (totally hooked now dammit!). Tomorrow I head to the Martini Goddess' place for some fun, samosas, silly conversation and, you guessed it, martinis.

And alas, back to work on Monday. And it's a good thing I made no real goals for my two weeks off, because I wouldn't have accomplished a damn thing. Poor, poor Sweater From Hell...it may never get finished.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

I won't be pokering this weekend (I may however be drunk dial-a-shotting while under the influence of delicious martinis), but for those whoa re, here's some games you should be playin':

Tournament: Riverchasers Special Event #2
Where: Full Tilt
When: Sunday, March 25th 2pm ET
Game: H.O.R.S.E. Deepstack
Buyin: $24+2 or token
password: riverHorse

Tournament: Inaugural UK Blogger/reader Tournament
Where: PokerStars
When: Sunday, March 25th, 8pm GMT
Game: NLHE
Buyin: $5.50
Password: donkament

Tournament: WPBT Event #3
Where: Full Tilt
When: Sunday, March 25th 9pm ET
Game: Razz
Buyin: $24+2 or token
password: Bloggers only

See what I mean about what happens when my stubborn streak kicks in?

CC, thanks again for throwing these games together. But I have to say I'm not sure at this point if I'll play another blogger game for a bit.

Iggy once said blogger games should only be thought of as +EV for fun. And with the exception of the Mookie (I have a soft place in my heart for the Mookie), they're just not that much fun for me lately.

And unfortunately, that's why I play these games, the MATH, the WWDN, the CC Bash....for fun. For the chat, the camaraderie, the goofing off. Let's face it, it's not like I really have the skill to battle against these guys week after week. So when I play these games, I KNOW my chances of placing ITM is slim and rare, but I always expect some giggles as other compensation.

Yeah, I know the halcyon days are over, where the girlie chat rocked, when the hammer was played with wild abandon and bragging rights meant more than money. And I do like watching players like Hoy, GCox, MiamiDon and the rest battle it out.

But I shouldn't be pushing msyelf from my desk feeling faintly pissed off and disappointed. Again, yeah, I know I set myself up for it ... I expect A and get B.

Disappointment looms everywhere.

The poker goddess decreed that Kat's special number for yesterday at Fallsview was six.

Ace, six (5 times, 3 times sooted).

King, six.

Pocket sixes.

Lots and lots of sixes. But only twice were there any winners: K6 with 2 pair and a flopped floosh with A6 diamonds.

- - - - - - - - - - -

I love the Fallsview. It's a nice casino, and a great viewing point for the Horseshoe Falls is right out the back door. The fact that it was going to be a nice day (sunny and 45F) decided me in favour of heading there vs going to Rama. And the bus service to the Fallsview is way better than Rama: $12 for an express return ticket and you get a $10 cash voucher vs. Rama's $5 milk run.

So I hopped on the bus, fired up the iPod and watched Full Tilt's video podcasts all the way. Yeah, yeah, ok, not all the way...I did watch some cartoons courtesy of Vintage Tooncast and some bizarre little shorts from Atom Films (watch Rabbit, it's very .... quirky). Yes, I am enamored with my iPod video.

Went and got a tasty coffee from Starbucks and walked by the Falls for a bit in the sunshine. There's one place I like to stand and watch the water; it's about four or five feet from where the river slips over the edge to fall and dissolve into foam and mist. It's a good place to clear one's head...the roar in your ears and the slight rumble under your feet is unchanging and relentless. It's even better if there's only three or four other people there instead of the thousand or so tourists crowding for the perfect shot.

The only problem with standing right at that spot is that you get a tad damp. I only lasted 10 minutes until I started getting wet and cold, and thought "screw this, time for pokah".

The poker room was quiet, only two tables going. I was seated at the $1/$2, $100 max. table right away, and waited a few hands for the BB. About half the table were tourists, two of whom confessed easily and often how they'd never played before. Trust me, they hadn't - they played hideously with the occasional lucky hit.

There were 4 players at the table that I kept my eye on; 3 were quiet, older gentlemen who didn't enter many hands, and if they bet post-flop ir meant they had a good one and you better run unless you had the nuts. The fourth was a young guy, maybe late 20's. Funny, cute, and had about 3 grand in front of him. I couldn't help myself, and asked him how long he'd been there - seventeen hours straight. Every time he went to leave, the river goddess smiled at him. Yeah, I'd be staying too.

I only really tangled with him once, and proved that yes, AA > KQo. Mostly I just stuck to playing the good cards and/or playing the tourists, which proved a good strategy as I left $425 richer after 6 hours. Wheeeee!

Definitely an I Love Poker kind of day *grin.

- - - - - - - - - - -

OK guys, here's a tip. When you've screwed up, there's something even better to say than "I'm sorry."

"I made a mistake. I'll fix it."

Hunny Bunny said that me to me as I dropped him off at the airport. He'd announced this morning that he'd gotten the dates wrong, and had to work on my birthday (it's not a big deal on its own, but it IS a big deal if it's the fourth year in a row and I'd said previously I wanted him to be home this time please). I get quiet when I get really angry and he was the unfortunate recipient of the silent treatment all morning.

"I made a mistake. I'll fix it."

And by the time he'd landed in Calgary, he had.

This is the hardest I've worked for thirty-five bucks in a very long time, and proves once again that there is no end to what I can accomplish when my stubborn streak kicks in and/or I get my back up about something.

Too bad it doesn't happen more often.

I'm off to the casino tomorrow for some live play. Wish me luck!

From the latest club email:

Lastly, as a courtesy to everyone at the table, we will no longer allow cell phone use at the table. If you have to take a call, please fold your hand and step away from the table. I will instruct the dealers to give everyone one warning as to this new rule. Any repeat offenders will receive a full ten minute timeout from the game and their blinds will be posted. We feel that this will provide a better atmosphere for everyone at the table.

The steam has been vented, and the contents aren't under nearly so much pressure as when I got home last night. But I'm still feeling enough remnants of tilt that I don't think poker is that good an idea right now.

It's a a very clear day and I can see the towers of the Fallsview Casino across the lake, but I'm going to ignore its siren song, and cancel my planned excursion to play poker. Instead I think I'll stay in my pajamas and watch old movies on TCM while knitting.

Far better for the blood pressure.

Pokerwolf commented that my last post sounded like "more of an emotional problem than a poker problem." (Well, duh, Wolfie babes *grin.) And that got me thinking ... when is tilt anything else but an emotional response? Never.

I fully recognize that my reaction to last night was waaaay over the top. I was not in a perfect headspace for poker last night. On a smaller scale I was tired, headache-y and uncomfortable (folding chairs suck after about 20 minutes). On a larger scale I'm not all that thrilled with where some parts of my life are stalled. I was getting ready to leave while ahead, but fell victim to the OMHS (One More Hand Syndrome). And the cell phone tilted me.

Innappropriate cell phone use annoys the crap out me. It's a very emotional response. When did we become so conditioned to think that a cell phone MUST be answered as soon as it rings, no matter what you're doing? Isn't that what caller ID and voicemail is for?? But I digress.

Yes, I got a little too in touch with my angry side. And no, I'm not proud of it. But I'm glad I'm learning enough to vent and let it go rather than hold it in so it gets worse.

So I'm ready for a day of relaxation. I've got my pj's and fuzzy slippers on, Happy Coffee and Eggo waffles on the way for breakfast and have just discovered it's an Andromeda marathon all day on Showcase!!

Sweet!

If anyone wants to kill some time while at work, give me a call...I'd even be up for a Dial-A-Shot. They're very relaxing you know *grin.

Yes kids, this is a rant.

Maybe not a Waffles-worthy rant, but a rant nonetheless.

The following occurred not a half hour ago at the club.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Tell me, what kind of a fucktard mental midget asswipe fonkey answers his fucking cell phone when he's in a hand???

A HU hand??

After the turn when someone (me) has just gone all in ( made my gutshot straight) and it's his turn to act?

And then talks to his wife for a minute or so? Making us all wait?

Then hangs up (no apology, of course not, the world obviously revovles around him, how stupid of me not to know that), and calls my all in without really thinking about what's on the board, has no clue about his hand vs. my hand then proceeds to catch the ONE FUCKING CARD that beats me? And doesn't even really grok it until the dealer starts pushing chips to him?

AAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've obviously been playing online too much, and have gotten way too comfortable with expressing my feelings without any filters. As I grabbed my stuff (no way I was going to buy back in in that mood), I said to the table at large, "It's like playing with donkeys and retards."

Certainly not my finest hour. But I can't find it within me to be sorry I said it.

But it really was like playing with the aforementioned groups. I played tight and well, counted outs and calculated odds, paid attention and folded (played 4 hands in 1.5 hours). But why study the game, and try to be smarter and play smart poker, when there is ALWAYS some drooling lemur ready to take you out with a moronic move and yokel guffaw.

And don't give me the crap about how these people lose in the long run, and smart people will win in the long run.

I. am. not. buying. it. right. now. so. save. your. breath.

If I was smart I'd quit poker. But thena gain if I was smart I'd win more at poker so the pundits say. Therefore I must be stupid. So then I'm going to regress and go back to being a fucking lemur, as that is what is obviously paying the dividends these days.

I was much happier when I had no fucking clue what I was doing. Really.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Rant is over. For now.

"Do you want a stamp?"

She was about 4 or 5, with honey brown hair done in two french braids that looked like they had been slept in. The flyaway strands framed a serious face, and she gave me a slight frown as she asked me again.

"Do you want a stamp?"

- - - - - - - - -

We'd gone to the Moonbean Cafe to meet Hunny Bunny's friend Ollie, who had his photographs hanging in the cafe. It was one of those coffee places that I could spend an afternoon in just people watching - filled with artists, students, young families, people both gearing up for and relaxing after a foray into Kensington Market. There may have been music playing, it was hard to tell over the hum of many conversations. The aroma of freshly roasted coffee permeated the place, competing with the enticing smells of fresh baked goods.

I'd noticed the little girl while we waiting at the counter for our coffees. She was wandering around the tables, periodically going back to the table where her dad sat drinking his coffee to tell him something or other. In one hand she held a plastic case with 5 small rubber stamps and in the other hand she held a small red stamp pad. At every table she stopped and softly asked the same question:

"Do you want a stamp?"

No one turned her down. And everyone smiled for a moment. It was interesting to see the faces change; even the solitary big biker dude's stern features melted into gentleness as she picked a stamp, thumped it on the red inkpad a few times and then pushed it hard on the back of his scarred hand.

Eventually she got to me, and I could see that she had been at her work for a while as all her fingers were stained with red to the first knuckle. And work it was; it was as if it was her mission to make sure everyone had a red stamp by the time they left. A smile rarely crossed her solemn face, but don't get me wrong, she wasn't grumpy or whiney or irritable ... she was just doing what she had apparently decided she had to do.

My reply to her repeated question was "Of course. A stamp would be perfect." With great care she put down the ink pad and box of Valentine rubber stamps on the counter. She looked in my eyes for a moment and pronounced that she would stamp a rose, because "you look like you need a flower."

She picked the rose stamp out of the case and repeated the same movements; thump, thump, thump, press. She lifted the stamp and peered at the red blob on my hand and pronounced it "very nice". I agreed and thanked her. "You're very welcome." With that, she picked up the two boxes and moved off to another table.

And that is how, even after a bubble bath and a few showers, I still have a small red blob on the back of my right hand, about the size of a dime. I wish I could keep it there for a while as a reminder that it doesn't have to be as complicated as I make it ("it" being any one of a number of things). All it really takes is a small and simple gesture. I also wish I had more skill with words, so I could capture that moment better and explain how lovely it was.

So. Do you want a stamp?

I wish I could take credit for the cleverness of the title, but it's a song by Against Me (mp3 is available here).

And I have had several pints of Guinness to celebrate the end of the term and the sheer glory of 16 days of sleeping in and general sloth.

Yes folks, my March break has officially begun, and begun in style. There is a story there, but alas, I am not quite up to the task at the moment. The short version is this - don't dare me to do something if you'll be embarrassed when I do it. That will just make it more fun for me.

So I'm home, comfortable and working on keeping my comfortable buzz going.

Dial-A Shots are not only welcome; they are encouraged!

Dr. Pauly has a new issue of Trucking up, and I urge you to go check out some very entertaining reads in the second annual LaLa Land issue. Do as I do, save them for a particularly boring part of the day when someone or other is droning on and on and on. Staff meetings are perfect.

* * * * * * * *
Damn you, Shane Nickerson!

I was perfectly happy before reading your post on Stumble Upon. Usually I stay away from add-ons like this but you caught me at a weak moment. Now I'm hooked. My bookmarks are overflowing with sites for school (open source, flash, graphic editing), web development (css generators, colour and coding), and some pretty weird and beautiful stuff.

No wonder my report cards were late.

* * * * * * * *

The latest lemming-like quiz results:


Which File Extension are You?

---------------------



---------------------

I swear I did nothing to skew this. And that makes is slightly more frightening.

I tashte like Alcohol. Heh. Heh. I taste like beer. I like beer. Buy me a beer. I'm not drunk, I can drink plenty without... What was I saying? Beer. What Flavour Are You?

---------------------

Ummm....yeah, sure. Where do I go to collect??

God, I can't wait.

I'm uber stressed, thanks to a rushed report card cycle, PMS, lack of sleep, strep throat, and the usual stuff here at home that occasionally piles deep. And I'm becoming a tad more bitchy than even I'm comfortable with.

I need sleep and I need some fun. I need to not hear the words "ummm....Kat" said in that particular whine that means yet another intelligent and able bodied child is too freaking lazy to figure something out for herself and wants me to do it for her (yeah, like that's ever going to happen).

There are other things I need too, but that's for another blog *grin.

Other than a trip to a cottage for a while with Hunny Bunny, I have nothing planned. Some knitting, some reading, some languishing in bubble baths, some poker

Oooo, poker. I love poker again. I reloaded and have had some fun. Oh and I've doubled up in a week. Yeah, yeah I know it can go as quick as that (snaps fingers), but for now I'm enjoying the confidence boost.

Course then I go an act all donkariffic in the WWdN. Some things never change.

About an hour into this I took a long hard look and realized I was not going to place in this. I am no way ready for this winner-take-all kind of MTT.

When I'm at my best and play seriously, I final table in MTT's. I take Iakaris' advice that he gave so long ago and play for a particular place.

Five places pay in a token peep? I play for 5th. It's realistic, and I can relax into my play without stress.

Top 100 pay in a big MTT? Same thing. I play for about 50th. If I get that far then I upgrade my expectations according to my stack size relative to the average.

This sort of thinking has an added side benefit - I'm disappointed less and while I still tilt, it doesn't have quite the same edge to it. I break fewer things.

But now I'm wondering, am I shooting myself in the foot with this thinking? You blokes who play MTT's and cash a lot, are you playing for first all the time?

Don't get me wrong...even when I realized that I wouldn't take it down, I still played my game, such as it is. I wanted final table. And I need the experience, at putting what I'm reading into play.

Will I play another Ladies Event race or another winner-take-all style of MTT? I doubt it. The odds are crap, and playing against all women is problematic for reasons I've written about before.

But I'm definitely going to work towards playing in the WSOP.

It's no secret that I have little self control - some former beaux say that's part of my charm.

I say things like "I will only stay for one drink", "I don't think I'll drink martinis tonight", or"I'm not going to play poker for at least a week" with best intentions.

But something happens. My will crumbles.

While I haven't reloaded my accounts with cash yet, I *did* remember about Full Tilt's FTP SnG's, so I decided what the heck; it's not like I'm ever going to amass enough points to be worthwhile, so let's see if any of my reading has taken hold.

I played two 300 FTP one table SnG's, which only award first place with an entry for another satellite to the 400k. And placed second in both. Which considering some of my donkalicious play in January and Februray, is pretty ok.

I played sans distractions, and did well in the first stages, folding a lot, spending a little bit of my stack while blinds were low on figuring out how my tablemates played. My shorthanded play was good; I love shorthanded and my style of aggression always works well there.

Where I sucked in BOTH games was heads up. I definitely need to go back to the drawing board for that.

Time to skim a few chapters *grin.