Mostly about garth

While it hasn't been a good poker weekend per se, it's been a fun one.

Friday was the Rebuy Donkament, and I was lucky enough to be seated at Garth's table. I have to hand it to Garth, when he sets his mind to something, he cannot be deterred. He had decided he wanted to beat the previous rebuy record of 54 and with that in mind he pushed. Every. Single. Hand.

He did not beat the record, but still contributed $47 in rebuys to the final pot of $230. And then the jammy bastard took 3rd overall, almost covering his buyin!

The hand of the game that really sticks out in my mind is this one:

Garth takes out Shadowcard, and when I congratulate him in the girlie chat his response was "huh....that was a royal??".

Yes dear, it was. *grin.

I must apologise to all....due to poker fund issues (ie. the Withdrawal Curse) I've not been able to award a monetary reward for those who buyin the most, so I'll create a graphic that you can proudly copy and display on your blog.

Here's Garth's:

And who holds the dubious honour of the most rebuys?

I got my name in lights with

Yes, MeanHappyGuy is still the donkiest of them all *grin


There was other poker...I played the Darfur charity game on Stars. Alas I had only the cost of admission to spare (my poker stars account is in a most unhealthy state), and busted after 25 minutes.

Kudos to the other bloggers who played - a over 20k was in the pot, which gets matched by Stars. And a HUGE congrats to Garth, who made it to 25th out of 744 players.

I asked if he would mentor me, but he gave me his strategy in four words for free:
get drunk. get lucky.

Had a blast on the Brit Bloggerment, where I got hit in face in the deck in the first 45 minutes; however it dried up like hell once we hit the final 9. Beseeching the poker gods did no good, and I was out 6th (I think) when I decided to push with 55, and well, yes, they were found substandard.

I'd much rather catch the cards and luck in the last part of the game!


You have all heard me bitch about the Sweater from Hell. It was definitely a challenging (!) project for a beginner, but the damn thing is finally done:

It's fucking awesome, if I do say so myself. And just in time for summer too.

Life has improved, mainly because of 2 things:
  1. I spent a few hours yesterday hanging out at the Brickworks (a wild park not far from me) communing with the turtles, fish, ducks and birds. I needed the reminder to not take all the crap so seriously. And seriously, most of it is crap.
  2. The sweater from hell is done! I picked it up yesterday, having paid someone else to put in the zipper - pictures will be forthcoming. I can't believe the damn thing is finished! And like all women with a new fabulous anything, I desperately want to wear it. But the weather gods have stopped the cool-ish weather and the weather office is calling for sunny and 32 (94 F) today. Not really a day to wear a long-sleeved wool hoodie. Damn.

In poker happenings, the big game is this Sunday's Oceans 13 game on PokerStars to aid Darfur.

I know that most of you will be enjoying your long weekend, but I encourage you to sign up even if you don't play. PokerStars will match the pot, and you'll have the knowledge that you did something karmically good. Even though it represents a quarter of my PokerStars bankroll at the moment, I'll be there because I know that ten bucks to me is only a few expensive coffees but it could be a month's worth of aid for someone else.

More details are here.


But wait, there's more poker this weekend - don't forget the Blogger Donkament on Friday and Sunday's BritBloggerment. See sidebar for details.


Congrats to PokerPeaker, SoxLover, Pokerwolf and spouses on the new arrivals to their households!! Stop by and wish them well...better yet yet, wish them sleep *grin.

ap·a·thy [ap-uh-thee]
1.absence or suppression of passion, emotion, or excitement.
2.lack of interest in or concern for things that others find moving or exciting.
Pretty much sums up how I'm feeling about poker at the moment. I'm sure it's a passing phase; either that or I'm just tired of the same old suckouts and shit.

Don't mind me - I'm still on family/life tilt. And it's not made any better by Keith (yes, Hunny Bunny does have a real name) being on the road. He won't be back for a week or so.

I played poker today out of sheer avoidance. I lost some, and won others. Nothing stands out, although flopping quads THREE times today, all with pocket 8's, should really stand out, don't you think?

This was just one of them - I hadn't enough presence of mind to take screen shots of the others.

Oh pardon me (big yawn). I've been going to bed at 9:30 and 10 because I'm just too bored to stay awake, and I think now my body has gotten used to it. I was already yawning by the time the Hoy started. How can I be a degenerate if I go to bed so damn early?

Man, I hope I snap out of this soon.

A long weekend wrap up

this has not been a good weekend.

On the poker front, it was as it always is. Friday's bloggerment was a ton of laughs, and even Jules showed up to work off a bit of life tilt. I've been a bit under the weather all week, and went to bed early, so really don't know who placed where.

Sunday was some poker, and I think the best I can say for it is mediocre. I was not giving it my best effort, and it kinda showed. I placed deep in some silly $1+.10 I played on Stars, and was in that while playing the BritBloggerment and a token effort.

Frankly, I'd have been better off going for a walk. I was still thinking about Saturday.

Saturday was bad, really bad. Well it was really good until dinner...I met my aunt and we went through some of my Grandma's stuff, and had a lot of laughs looking at the old pictures. It was great hearing more stories of my Mum and Grandma, stories that I should have written down.

But it turned really ugly after dinner, and I left. As far as I am now concerned, I am one aunt less. I can't bring myself to write what she said, not here, not even in my private journal; it was that awful.
You can choose your friends, but you're stuck with your family.
My mum said that, and truer words were never spoken.

Coo roo coo coo coo coo coo coo

If you're Canadian or have ever watched SCTV, you'll know the opening of Kanadian Korner with Bob and Doug MacKenzie.

If you don't know what I'm talking aboot, feel free to pass right on over this, ya hoser. Take off,eh!

It's the May Two Four weekend (aka the official start to summer's drinking and fishing) up here in the Great White North, and coincidentally enough, the twenty-fourth anniversary of Bob and Doug's movie Strange Brew. So they're re-releasing the movie this weekend, and there's a special on the CBC at 9 tonight. So I'm grabbing a two-four of stubbies, frying up some peameal bacon, and settling in to watch while I buy in numerous times at the Blogger Donkament tonight.

Deets on the Donkament:

Full tilt Poker
Buy in = 1 +1, unlimited rebuys* for the first hour, one add-on.
Password: donkament donkarama
EDIT: Fuck, I'm an idiot. Too excited for the long weekend I guess. Thx Hoy.

And don't forget there's the BritBloggerment and the Big Game on Sunday. Since it's a long weekend, I'm hoping to be elsewhere on Sunday, but who knows..maybe I'll see you there!

Tournament: BritBloggerment
When: Sunday, May 20th, 4:00 pm ET
Game: NLHE
Buyin: $5 +.50
password: donkament

Tournament: Blogger Big Game
When: Sunday, May 20th, 21:30pm ET
Game: NLHE Deepstack
Buyin: $69+6 or token
password: donkey

* Yes, unlimited rebuys. For a buck. So stop being so damn tight.


Thanks to my man James, the Blue Screen of Death is no more on the laptop. AND my iPod has stopped being wrangy (I reformatted it anyway just in case). All data has now been backed up, and I am calm once more.


I was going to go off on a poker rant a la Waffles and Hoy, but it's a nice day, a long weekend is coming, my tech woes are over, and my fridge is full of beer. I'm just not in the right headspace for it anymore. But I encourage some of the donks in the Riverchasers last night, please, keep playing like that (who knew that J8 was such a frigging monster) for I know you will eventually pay me off.


It's late, but I played live on Wed at the club with Astin. It was a lot of fun, AND I final tabled. I finished two from the money, but I left happy - I played well, and re-learned the lesson on overly tight play in the late stages of an MTT. The best hand was when we were down to 3 tables, and I was shortstacked at 1800 chips, blinds were 600/1200 at this point (I think). I was getting crap, and had been folding like it was my job. I had the button, and decided to pull the plug and get home in time for the Mookie. I went all in blind, a move which seemed to impress the hell out of the rest of the table. I don't remember the betting sequence, but I tripled up when JT off made a straight on the river. Sometimes the poker gods do actually crack a smile.

Yet more Technology tilt

Laptop - Blue Screen of Death

Desktop - monitor woes

iPod - skipping, displaying wrong graphics, generally cacked

digital camera - eternally fuzzy images (wait, that could be me)

I'm honestly afraid to touch anything at the moment.

i just don't know if I can bear it anymore

Of the last 9 online games I have played, I have been busted through a suckout.

Rockets, cowboys, bitches, slicks, sets...all fallen. The worst one was just now when AA fell to....

wait for it.....

it's painful....

brace yourself....

85 offsuit.

Yes. you read correctly. My preflop all in was called by 85 offsuit. No, I wasn't shortstacked. No, my worthy opponent wasn't shortstacked. No, it wasn't a cheap game (one-table $75 token sng for cash).

Am I missing something? Do I really play that badly? I'm reading, I'm digesting, I'm working through books on tournament and cash play.

I don't have Pokertracker or the add-on my numbers really add up to "call this woman down with anything"?

Sigh. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

* wanders off muttering about eights and fives and rivers.

Other motorcycling rules that I was reminded of during the ride in to work this morning..

11) At some point, just when you least expect it, you will hit loose gravel or scored pavement. Neither of these things ensure a steady ride for those on two wheels. Instant clench time.

12) Sneezing in a full face helmet can be messy. There is a trick to it; however you will have to relearn that trick each and every season.

Yes, allergy and road construction season have hit this fair city. Yippee.

Live vs. online


Went to the Fallsview for a few hours yesterday. Had a great session at the $1/2 NLHE table, fun people around me, lots of laughs and relieved my table mates of $300.


This is a small taste of how online poker loves me:

Full Tilt Poker Game #2418404249: Chasers/Blogger Bracelet Race (16567662), Table 3 - 30/60 - No Limit Hold'em - 19:37:19 ET - 2007/05/13
Seat 1: AlCantHang (2,820)
Seat 2: JediMyndTrik (3,235)
Seat 3: mtnrider81 (2,895), is sitting out
Seat 4: ScarKnight (3,930)
Seat 5: peacecorn (2,455), is sitting out
Seat 6: Blinders (3,160)
Seat 7: katitude (2,505)
peacecorn posts the small blind of 30
Blinders posts the big blind of 60
The button is in seat #4
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to katitude [Ad As]
katitude raises to 210
AlCantHang folds
JediMyndTrik folds
mtnrider81 folds
ScarKnight raises to 400
peacecorn folds
Blinders folds
katitude calls 190
*** FLOP *** [Th 8h Ks]
katitude bets 2,105, and is all in
ScarKnight calls 2,105
katitude shows [Ad As]
ScarKnight shows [Qc Qd]
*** TURN *** [Th 8h Ks] [Td]
*** RIVER *** [Th 8h Ks Td] [Qs]
katitude shows two pair, Aces and Tens
ScarKnight shows a full house, Queens full of Tens
ScarKnight wins the pot (5,100) with a full house, Queens full of Tens

So, so rigged. At least I wasn't first one out (second).

Sigh. Live > Online.


FF = Frustrating Friday. Or maybe Finally Friday. Perhaps Fucking Friday.

It's been an uphill battle today; the nice weather and half-filled classes (track meets and field trips) mean that no one wants to learn Flash (grade 8), game development (grade 12), InDesign (grade 11), robotics (grade 7) or Powerpoint (grade 9).

And to be honest, I don't particularly want to teach today. However, the end of the year is fast approaching and I need to 1) get through as much of the curriculum as possible and 2) I have to teach in order for them to be able to do the tests and assignments so I have a mark for their report card.


But something has snapped this afternoon, and frankly I don't give a good goddamn, as me dad used to say.

I have hit my saturation point of storytime hour. I teach one thing, like using the Paint tool in Flash with a red colour, and get someone saying something ridiculous* like "oh, that's like my grandma, she has a red dress in just that colour.", opening it up for someone else to reply with "oh, my grandma makes good cookies.", and then it deteriorates into the most inane crap. I ask you, do I look like someone who would be inclined to care about the minutiae of lives other than my own?

Please, please by all that's great and wonderful in the world, SHUT THE FUCK UP.

God, I wish I could say that out loud on occasion. Right now I am ignoring the plaintive whine of a 12 year old princess who is the centre of her parent's universe and is operating under the mistaken impression that she holds the same position in my universe. Every class, she tries to play the "I don't know how to do it, do it for me" card, and every class I tell her to either check Help or start taking notes. They say the definition of stupidity is doing the same thing over and over, but expecting different results. And here I thought she was such a bright kid at the beginning of the year.

God, I can't even pretend today. I'm going home to make a large-ish pitcher of martinis and wait to donk off 20 bucks or so in buyins in tonights Blogger Donkament. I'm all in first 5 hands, yelling BINGO all the way.

*yes, this is the right way to spell this particular word. Not rediculous. Once is a typo. Several times is isn't. I was going to let it go, but I can't - I'm a teacher. Now stop making fun of other people for their spelling and grammar and lighten up, Francis.

Don't forget

Tonight is the Blogger Donkament on Full Tilt at 9pm EST, PW = donkarama.

See ya there, and have a great weekend if I don't!

Seven times seven

I've been tagged...luckily I have nothing better to do than come up with seven things about me that no one knows. Well, I do have better things, but you know how I love to procrastinate.

1) I used to read tarot cards in my 20's and still have them put away somewhere, wrapped in a Hermes scarf I found at Goodwill. My friend and I started to design our own, but enthusiasm waned once we sobered up / came down.

2) Like Haley, I love pickled beets, but only homemade. I grew up on a small farm, and have in my lifetime cultivated, picked and processed fruits and veggies for jams, jellies, preserves, pickles, relish, sweet chili sauce, hot chili sauce, conserves, compotes, salad dressings, and yes, have made my own horseradish and ketchup. I hated it at the time, and wanted store-bought. The older I get the more I hate store-bought and long for the taste of my grandma's relish - so much so that I think I'm going to make some this summer.

3) When I was 14, I caught mono, and yes, in the usual way a teenager catches mono. I was off school for 5 weeks, and read everything I could get my hands on: even my older brother's high school and university books. Brave New World and 1984 rocked me to the core, and I still haven't forgiven my Grade 13 English teacher for sucking the passion right out of them. I also read Atlas Shrugged, and walked around high school saying "Who is John Galt?" for a year and feeling oh so clever.

4) During the same time period, my teen heart-throb boy-band of choice was the Bay City Rollers. HEY, I was 13-14 years old for crissakes, don't judge! *grin.

5) I am ticklish as hell. All over.

6) I had a dentist once who, when I went for my initial "visit", asked me if I'd like him to fix that gap between my front teeth. I swear to god, my first reaction was "What gap?".

7) Even though I grumble, I secretly love being tagged by these things, because it means I'm still on someone's radar (ty Falstaff *mwah).

Here's my mostly Commonwealth tag list:

Little Acorn Man

Meme Challenge: Guin and Joanne - come on! We know you're out there!

Dis and Dat

Disgusted (a little).

But not

Lego silliness

From one another.

Proving once again that the line of people who really need to get out more is quite long.

After my tilt-fest on Friday night (good lord, how wound up am I that a $1 rebuy makes me go off like that??) I turned off the laptop and didn't turn it back on until late Sunday. I fired up a poker site long enough to say hi to the Brits, but that's it.

It was a good weekend. We spent all of it OUT.

Remember the map from a few posts ago? Our actual ride is in green:

It was a nice 2-day ride, skirting along the lake and around Prince Edward County. Fishing season opened Saturday with a big derby; fishermen were everywhere. We had a great chat with three at the canal lift lock where we had coffee (yes we travel with a stove and espresso - you know how I am about coffee *grin). I miss fishing - such a lovely way to do nothing on nice days.

The extended seat time reminded me of some bike road trip rules, that I will now share with you:

  1. Windchill is not just for winter. Travelling at highway speed on a chilly day will only make it much, much chillier; 63 degrees at 75 mph will feel more like 46 degrees. Trust me.
  2. Wear about 2 more layers than you think you'll need. You will need them, trust me (see point above).
  3. A miserable ride can be made better just by the appearance of some sun and blue sky, even if it's only fleeting.
  4. Money spent on good gear is never money wasted. A nice ride will be made miserable once hands and/or feet become wet and/or cold. A bad seat will also suck the joy right out of the day by Hour 4. Buy a Corbin; your ass will love you for it.
  5. NEVER pass the opportunity to pee! No matter how grotty you think the gas station bathroom might be.
  6. Find a little place to tuck some tissues or a partial toilet-paper roll in a ziplock, because at some point you will have ignored rule #5.
  7. Don't even bother to style your hair; don't waste your time. Just buy a hat.
  8. Bring a notepad and pen/pencil with you; there is no way you will remember that very clever haiku you made up while on the highway.
  9. Bring a camera. You will see the oddest things, like this cinderblock castle, and no one will believe you unless you bring back proof.
  10. ALWAYS stop when you want to. Look around, explore. You may never come back that way again, and even if you do, it will likely have changed. Don't worry about people leaving you behind; eventually they will realize you're not there and will come back to see what's up.


Many, many thanks, oh wonderful Martini Goddess for your kind hospitality over the weekend - you rock!!

tilt squared

Tilt squared is poker tilt x technology tilt.

Tilt squared is how I felt after finding out I'm out of the Donkament in under 30 minutes.

I go all in against Julius goat when I flop 2 pair with my A9 off. Then my wireless craps out, and comes back in just in time to find out I've lost the hand (effing four flush!) AND missed the rebuy period.

My apartment is now minus some breakable and replaceable items.


One of the bonuses (boni?) of having a job you love is that TGIF doesn't quite carry the same weight as it does for most people. Well, most of the time, anyway.

Today is an exception. I want out of here in the worst patience for the usual antics is at an all time low, and the fuse is short. This is not the fault of the students or of anything in particular....I just DON'T WANT TO WORK TODAY!

And I have a shitload of work; it always gets a bit top heavy as we rush towards the end of the year. I kind of thought I'd do stuff on the weekend, but as we used to say in high school:

Fuck that noise!

There are several things that will ensure my lack of productivity this weekend. They are, in no particular order:
  1. Friday Night Blogger Donkament.
    As IronGirl says, it's the cheapest therapy around. And it is ... are you tired of being harassed by donks? Play this, release your own personal inner donk and blow a few bucks. Deets: Full Tilt, 9 EST, $1 + 1 rebuy, PW = donkarama.

  2. Hunny Bunny has no work scheduled until Monday.

  3. A phone call to the Martini Goddess.
    Items #2 and 3 led to a conversation with Hunny Bunny about a ride over the weekend and where should we go? We haven't really explored the east of us to any great extent, and according to this site, there are some good roads in that direction. Martini Goddess and her Consort live out that way, so a quick call and a not-too-subtle hint (I don't do subtle; you know that) later and we now have plans to stay over and hang out. There are claims that MG has perfected her chocolate martini recipe; methinks this is a claim that requires personal corroboration.
There's a saying that a bad day riding is better than a good day working. And with the weather like that, it will not be bad riding. MG and Consort live about 2 hours from us if you take the 401 (red line). Our proposed route (which is subject to much change) looks more like the blue line:

So, to summarize:

Sun + Weekend off + Motorcycles + Friends + Martinis > Work.


The password for the Friday Night Blogger Donkament is:


I've checked. And rechecked. Ingoal and on_thg, I owe you a couple of pots, remind me.

Full Tilt, at 9 EST
$1+1 rebuy.

Most days I love being a grownup.

From drinking expensive martinis at the Park Hyatt to indulging in spa days; from having expensive hobbies to not giving a crap anymore what people think- it kicks ass. (I've been told that a grownup sans kids isn't really a grownup. However, middle age trumps that argument, so fuck you.)

Yep, no more curfews, being unsure of myself, having to go deal with angst and pressure, wondering what the fuck I'm going to do with my life (the answer to that, for those who are curious, is S.F.A.). You could not PAY me enough to go back and do the teens and twenties over - I'd like to have the body and the resilience of those days, but not if the rest of the shit comes with it.

Yes, most days I love being a grownup.

This is not one of those days.

The one hitch about being a grownup is the fact that reality sometimes crashes itself right in the middle of your fun.

In this case the reality is a few financial setbacks and the fun is the WPBT in Vegas.

God, I want to go. So, SO fucking much. I have a need for BIG FUN (caps intended) periodically, and bloggers supply it in spades. I know I'm going miss something cool, and whenever I think about it I feel a bit nauseated.

And frankly, the thought of all those asses going ungrabbed pains me.

But alas, the adult / sensible part of my brain has kicked in and looked at the Funds minus Expenses equation for the next few months and has shelved Vegas.

I really have to say I'm immature enough to have stomped around a bit, whined, and have generally been in a bit of a pissy mood. And yes, there was a *small* amount of cursing.

Sensible sucks. No wonder I avoid it so much.



Okie-Vegas is a definite. Even if I have to crawl on bloody stumps.

WPBT in December is a definite. Even if I have to crawl on frozen stumps.

I'm also looking to do a solo rise in August and the one idea that keeps rising to the top is a trip to see IG then down to Foxwoods. I'm thinking there are a ton of degenerates close enough to join me.


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