Thanks to all who contributed to the list of things I want - everything on there is wanted in some degree or another.

Especially number three. And it's been ages since I had an onion sandwich - Thane, it's much better with the addition of some good, old cheddar *grin.

I spent the weekend indulging in steak, chocolate pie and martinis at the Martini Goddess' house. The weather was gorgeous for November, and it was a good time.

****

I'll be very honest here, and say that I'm forcing myself to write. And it sounds like it.

The last few weeks have been meh, with lots of little things piling up to make me look long and hard at what I need to do to be a good friend, a good wife, a good sister/niece/aunt/cousin, a good teacher, a good human. And when I say good, I don't mean good as in angelic (as if I could pull that off!), I mean good as in engaged and caring. I feel like I am wildly missing the mark on all of the above.

I've been trying to get out from under these heavy thoughts. The success has been limited, although the black currant martini and the conversation of the weekend helped immensely.

But today I am filled with sadness and more than just a little smattering of guilt. When we got home last night there was a voicemail to call my cousins as soon as possible. Before I even started dialing their number, I knew.

My Aunt Eleanor passed away on Saturday.

She was the last relative of my Dad's generation; so many things I still wanted to ask her and stories I still wanted to hear - all lost now. And her mannerisms were so much like my Dad's, I feel like I've lost him all over again.

9 Responses to “”

  1. # Blogger pokertart

    I'm so sorry for your loss Kat.  

  2. # Blogger BamBam

    Oh Kat...

    My deepest and heartfelt condolences.

    If there is anything I can do, I hope you know that you just need to ask.  

  3. # Blogger Jules

    I'm so sorry darling...  

  4. # Blogger Carson

    I'm sorry to hear about your loss Kat.

    There is a big TuckFard hug here for ya if you need it.  

  5. # Blogger Maudie

    My heart goes out to you, lady. Big hugs!!  

  6. # Blogger The Wife

    Kat:

    My heart is with you - right now, DrChako's uncle is in the hospital after a surgery with tubes and respirators and each day we hold our breath. It is hard to think of life without our loved ones, but you have many more to love you, and death can never take the good memories.

    My sympathies.

    Mrs. Chako  

  7. # Blogger Astin

    Just keep not acting like a lady, and she won't have gone very far at all.

    Hug.  

  8. # Blogger lightning36

    Sorry for your loss. My best thoughts are with you in the days ahead.  

  9. # Blogger Irongirl01

    Hey Kat so sorry for your loss, I just got caught up on some blog reading and had no idea when I IMd you the other nite.

    Just remember our loved ones only leave us in body, their spirit and memories are always with us. Today when I made stuffing and creamed onions it was my grannys stuffing and the onions my grampys favorite.

    Big Hug to you girl  

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    Katitude



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