Today was my last official day of school; I do have to go back sometime in the next 9 weeks to wipe the computers clean of all the crap that's been saved on them (Good lord, not MORE Harry Potter pics?!?), uninstall some applications and install some nice, snappy, free collaborative software.

Read: Hello, Open Source. KMA, Microsoft and Adobe. If you want me to indoctrinate ... errr ... solidify your brand ... errrr .... teach bright young minds to use and love your software, then you can bloody well make it more affordable. I refuse to blow ... errr ... spend my entire next year's budget (and most of the year after's) on your bloated, crappy shit.

Pffftttt to you.

But I digress.

It's a pretty good feeling to be sitting here without the usual weights of lesson plans, marking, assessment, rubrics, pedagogy, etc. sitting on my shoulders. So, so good.

To celebrate, I'm jumping on the bike tomorrow and heading to Manitoulin Island tomorrow for 4 days. Some of it will be spent with my older brother and his family, but most will be spent just noodling around by myself.


Hunny Bunny is still in the middle of jazz fest, and so can't come with me. but between you and I, I'm really looking forward to the time alone. Hunny Bunny is more, shall we say, action-oriented than I am, and I don't often get a chance to do things like find a nice spot under a tree, read and watch the world go by for a few hours.

So to my fellow canucks, enjoy your long weekend!

To the donkey crowd, have fun at the Friday Night Bloggerment rebuy, and remember..it's only a buck! Loosen up!

And to those in the BBT Big Game...may the poker gods smile on you and your cards.

In the words of our most pedantic and erudite gangsta brotha wannabe.....

Laytah.

e·piph·a·ny:
a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.

There have been a few IM chats with my blogger brethren lately where something has been said/typed, and it's as if a flashlight was shone on some dark corner of my brain. The really funny thing is that it was usually me trying to be clever, then re-reading it and going "oh ... yeah ... duh".

Epiphany #1:
Conversation with: Hoyazo
Sentence: "I do better live because it's more about the people than the math. Online is more about the math than the people."

I have always felt that everyone has their gifts, something that their brain is predisposed to "get"; and other things that they are predisposed to struggle with. For instance, my friend at work gets languages; she groks them so completely that she is able to switch between French, Latin, Spanish, Italian, Farsi without pausing for breath (she's also knows some Russian and Japanese). But computers? Man, do not even ask me how many times I've had to walk her through how to save a file to her USB key.

Me, I get computers, especially software. With only a few exceptions (I needed help to understand Illustrator, damn those Bezier curves), I am self taught.

But math, well..... let's just say that I'm good at the basics. Anything more complicated than adding up the cost of 3 beers and 12 SoCos (the result of many years as a cocktail waitress) or multiplying anything beyond 12 (the limit of multiplication table I was FORCED to memorize), and someone better bring me a calculator.

And in case anyone hasn't noticed yet, there's math in poker. The inability to do basic odds quickly and accurately is a hindrance.

Solutions: 1) Get the farging software already, woman! I had put myself in a Catch-22 that I need to break out of, which sounds so stupid now I'm not even going to write it down. 2) Play less online and more live. This involves me getting away from the laptop, off the couch and OUTSIDE. Upon further thought, this is not a bad thing.

Epiphany #2
Conversation with: 23skidoo
Sentence: "I play under the constant threat of donkey attack. They congregate more on these levels and I can't afford to play higher."

The issues of playing with a teenie weenie bankroll are obvious; the cheaper SnG's are fonkey minefields, but one miscalculation at a higher buy-in level can cripple you in ugly ways.

Oh, and another problem with always playing where the donkeys graze is that unless you are really vigilant (which I'm not), it does start to rub off. You know what they say...if you can't see the donkey at the table, it's likely you. And as I've learned during the $1+1 rebuy bloggerment....she who lives by the suckout, dies by the suckout. Usually on the bubble.

Solutions: 1) Play waaaay tighter at these levels. Like channeling my inner Gary kind of tight. Keep paying attention to position and betting patterns. 2) Stop being such a cheap idiot and deposit enough so that it can be called a bankroll. $50 US is not a bankroll. $50 US is drinking money for a night.

Epiphany #3
Conversation with: myself
Sentence: "Do I really want to stay on this plateau for much longer?"

No. I don't. My game needs work, and I know I have holes that need plugging, beyond math and bankroll management. God, I almost feel like I'm back at the beginning (I know I'm not, but I feel like it).

Solutions: I'd value any input. And assistance. God, I'll even pay for it *grin.

Yes, I have a business proposition in mind if someone has the time to sweat me.

As of tomorrow, I am off for nine weeks, three of which are spoken for as vacation time. My goals for the end of the summer are simple: to learn the skills necessary and make these (so complicated, but so beautiful), and to learn the rest of the skills necessary to stop sucking so much at poker!

Now you might be wondering why the hell I'm bothering to post a second place finish in a cheap $6 + .50 SnG.

Because 4 hands in I was crippled when my AA failed to hold against a flush. And I mean crippled...what you see there is the result of me coming back from T10.

No it's not a typo...ten chips.

And yes, I'm feeling a bit chuffed with myself at the moment.

Unless you have a full fairing / huge windscreen on your motorcycle, it is advisable to make sure the cuffs of your jacket are cinched closed.

Because it doesn't matter that the odds are as unlikely as hitting a royal flush two hands in a row; something that stings will invariably fly up your sleeve.

And wasp stings fucking hurt, dammit!

Well, it was a great weekend here.

Well, great if you don't think about poker, which I'm not for moment. I've had a few blogger-aided epiphanies, but i'll get to them another time after I've had a chance to mull them over.

So, it's the beginning of the Jazz Festival here in the Tee Dot, and every year Hunny Bunny gets the gig to mix in the main event tent located at City hall:


We went downtown early on Saturday to wander around in the sunshine and have brunch at the Queen Mum. My plans were to skedaddle home after brunch, but I found myself hanging around the tent for an hour or so listening to to Coco Zhao who sings jazz in Chinese. I know, I know, it sounds wierd, but it worked. We were further entertained by a cute little moppet, around 4 or 5 years old, who gave us a performance of interpretive dance.

You would have died from the cuteness.

Tonight Holly Cole is playing, and thanks to my connections, that's where I'll be hanging tonight. Therefore I will be unable to donate in my usual fashion *grin.

Have fun, fellow donks and donkettes!

It's no secret that morning radio is fairly stupid, what with the inane chatter and silly contests; and the stations in Toronto are no exception.

I remember one station had a morning contest called "Brush with Smarminess" where listeners called in and related their brushes with the rich and famous. A waitress who served Mick Jagger at Sassafras, some guy who repaired Kurt and Goldie's dock at their cottage in the Muskokas, a woman who spotted Brad Pitt on Queen Street....you get the idea.

Pretty unimpressive stuff, IMHO.

Especially now that I beat all those mere "brushes"; now I can say I know not one, not two, but three people who have cashed in the WSOP this year.

You guys rock! Congratulations to you all!

• 9 hours 22 minutes ago | Posted by change100

  Dr. Pauly Drops The Hammer

  Paul McGuire raised to 700 from the button and the big blind called. The flop was . The big blind checked, McGuire bet 1,500 and the big blind called. The turn was the . McGuire fired out another 2,000 and the big blind folded.
  
  McGuire showed , a.k.a. "The Hammer" and dragged the pot with his bluff. He was up to 10,500 after the hand.

With the Hammer....oh my! The Dr. Pauly Cheerleaders say.....

It is time for me to move my business domain as my current host's service has deteriorated to point of uselessness. And I think maybe it's time to get a domain for this here blog thingie. And since I have a great gaping void of time to kill (insert joyous hallelujahs here), I'm going to make site re-designs my summer project.

So to you geeks out there, do you have a host or two that you would recommend? I don't need a lot of bells and whistles, blog capability is required, and inexpensive is a necessity.

TIA!

It's time for another WSOGMM post.

****

First of all, a HUGE congrats to Weak_Player and TransFish on their new addition to the family.

Too. Cute. For. Words!

****

Thirty-two years ago when I was in Grade 8, my class went on a school trip to the Toronto Zoo. My mum, who was a stay-at-home kind of mum and so was always on call when the school needed "volunteers", "volunteered" to be a chaperone.

I remember it to be a very fun time, hanging out with my friends, seeing the animals, and just generally being a kinda goofy eighth grader. My mum remembered it as "an exercise in herding cats, but fun nonetheless". I still have a picture taken near the polar bear enclosure, of me and a group of 10 girls hamming it up for the camera. In the photo, my mum is standing to the right with a tight smile and a look in the eyes that says "I need a stiff drink".

I bring this up because, last week for our last-day-of-school trip, I chaperoned the grade eights to the Toronto Zoo. It was a bit wrangy and exhausting, but fun overall. I was looking through the pictures on my camera, when I saw a shot taken by another teacher near the polar bear enclosure. It was a group shot of the eighth graders hamming it up. In the photo, I'm standing off to the right with a tight smile and a look in the eyes that says "I need a stiff drink".



Mr. Polar Bear says payback's a bitch. Even thirty years later.

****

Last weekend, Hunny Bunny and I gathered out camping gear, loaded the bikes, and headed up to a provincial campground near Sauble Beach for an overnight getaway. We hiked, talked, cooked hot dogs over a campfire, and saw some pretty cool plants and animals, including a young Massassauga Rattlesnake who was not happy about us being so close.

However, we were too busy experiencing it to take pictures of anything. The only picture I took all weekend was this picture. I was sitting on the curb waiting for Hunny Bunny, looking at my very sexy bike, when it occurred to me that the multiple reflections in the chrome made for a very arty shot; so out came the camera.



Here you see me in my leather chaps and my Joe Rocket mesh jacket. The yellow was not my idea; it was the only colour left on sale in my size. I've tried to convince myself that it's very visible and therefore safer, that it's ok, that it's not that bad. But secretly I really dislike it, all sunny and cheery and perky.

So not me.

****

Don't forget about the Friday Night Blogger Donkament tomorrow night on Full Tilt, 9 pm EST, password is donkarama. It's been called the best therapy in poker, and is hella fun. Hopefully the Buddy Dank Radio Show will be broadcasting for that extra Friday night silliness.

Third bloody hand:


And you know, I wasn't even surprised. Was expecting it actually.

This left me with precisely 120 chips that I somehow managed to cling to for a half hour until NightRanger makes another set (9's this time) against my QA, and I am done like dinner.

Guess I have to finish doing those damn report cards tonight after all.

Merde.

It's the beginning of a Tier Two token, first hand.

I am on the button and am dealt A2D.

First two players fold, third player raises to T60 (3xBB). Everyone folds around, I call. Yeah, I know it's A with a crappy kicker, but it's early and I don't mind losing T60 to see how some players will play.

Everyone else folds, it's down to me and PegPlaying. Flop is 2A5 rainbow, the 5 is a diamond. She bets T60 again, I raise to T180, she calls.

Turn is Kd. She bets T180. I raise to the size of the pot. She goes all in. I insta-call. I will admit, I did not stop and think this through, but I had outs up the wazoo.

Cards flip over, she has JJ black.

River card comes...and it's a jack.

The jack of hearts to be precise.

My comment in the chat: sigh.

Other players typed gg, what a suckout, horrible river, in the chat.

Her comment: What, no one's going to tell me nh?

My question here for you, dear readers, is this: Was I justified in calling her a retarded monkey, unworthy of congratulating?

I think I was.

I've been reading the tip reports, and I'm glad that everyone had a good time in Vegas.

Bastards.

A huge congrats to Hoy for placing ITM - you rock! And I'm still hugely jealous of those who played in the WSOP. I've told Hunny Bunny that I'm going to be there next year, even if I have to sell a body part to do it. He had a few suggestions on which body parts I can spare - it's an interesting list.

****

While everyone was playing the WPBT, I was losing a tad more than was comfortable at the Fallsview.

Why?

Two reasons:
1) I was so card dead it was crazy. I won 4 pots the whole time I was there.

But the most important reason was 2) Pride goeth before a fall.

On the way to the Fallsview, I sat beside a guy who plays poker. We chatted, talked about poker mostly. I made the mistake of stating how well I do live, and how every time I've been to the Fallsview I've at least tripled my buyin.

Talk about waving a red flag to the Poker Gods. Duh.

****

Work is evil right now. I'm tired, stressed, and ready to not hear the sound of girlish voices for at least a week. There's a idiom that states "Familiarity breeds contempt". So, so true.

****

One of the shining lights of the summer is the trip to Okie-Vegas, which Hunny Bunny and I were planning on riding down to.

Yes, that's right, past tense.

I'm still going, but HB has had a very lucrative job offered to him in Orlando...and I mean lucrative (he'll be making in one week what I make in six). Plus he'll be making more contacts in the corporate world, which is never a bad thing when you're self employed. We talked about it, and while we both want to go down there together, it's just too good an opportunity for him to pass up, so he's off to Orlando on the 15th with my blessing.

So it looks like I'll be flying down; dates to be confirmed.

And we've decided to take a 2 week ride through Quebec when we both get back from our adventures. Magnifique!

And I think I was the one who bought in the most (11x).

Thanks to all for a very fun night - and thanks to BuddyDank for providing the musical soundtrack. Sox I apologise again for some of the suckouts.

Well kinda *grin

I am so hellishly busy right now, that I'm actually relieved that I didn't pursue the WPBT in Vegas this weekend. There is no way in hell that I could have gotten a handle on things and taken 2 days from work without it coming back to bit me on the ass later with huge sharp white pointy teeth.

Or at least that's what I'm telling myself.

But I am taking a day off to do the next best thing tomorrow - I'm taking some dough and going to the Fallsview for some live poker fun, and will try not to think of the WPBT tourney going on at the same time.

I may just have to shun all trip reports; the envy is pretty all-consuming right now.

****

So I had a complete physical last week, my first in four and a half years (I know, I know, don't bother...Hunny Bunny has kicked my ass enough). I went laden with all the walk-in clinic and specialist reports from the last while, and presented them to the Doc with a smile. I wasn't smiling after she was done going through everything. Words like speculum, PAP, mammogram, cardiologist, exercise, diet, and the piece de resistance, peri-menopause were bandied about.

Fuck.

So the next month is filling with all kinds of appointments, including some to the dentist and optometrist. I suspect that the end result may be that I'm healthier, but suddenly feel my age.

Fuck.

But I doubt I'll ever act my age, as immediately after the doctor's visit where lifestyle and diet changes were being discussed, I insisted Hunny Bunny take me to dinner at Dangerous Dan's, a burger joint in a kinda scuzzy part of town.

There is nothing, and I mean nothing, healthy about eating here. Even the veggie burgers are done on the grill that has "consumed the souls of hundreds of cows" (a quote from the owner). Their burgers are huge and delish; and they specialize in items called the Coronary Special (2 8oz Patties, 4 Slices of Bacon, 2 Slices of Cheddar and a Fried Egg on top. Served w/ Fries and Gravy, Can of Pop and Mayo as a garnish for sure!) and the Quadruple C (Collosal Colon Clogger Combo: 24oz burger served with a quarter pound of cheese, a quarter pound of bacon, and 2 fried eggs. Also comes with a large shake and a small poutine.). I think of Al everytime I read their menu.

Jesus, no wonder I keep getting chest pains.

My cell phone is charged and awaiting your Dial-A-Shots. I will have appropriate beverages on hand.

So call me, please do. Tell me what fabulous adventures you're having.

Waffles, this means you. And Ick. And Astin. And Carmen. And IG. And Falstaff.

On second thought, let's just make it Falstaff.... that voice gives me this shivers in all the right places *wicked grin.

Have fun, beetches!

If the forecast says 80% chance of rain, and you ride to work in your leathers instead of your rain gear, you will get wet. Luckily it's only 6 kms, so the discomfort is minimal.

However, the discomfort will be tenfold later on in the day when you put on the cold and wet leathers to go back home in.

Ick.

So I'm moping around the apartment over the weekend, feeling crappy because I'm sick and feeling crappy because I'm missing an opportunity to hang out with my pals in Vegas. Fragments of thought coalesce into a blog post, and I start to word it in my head, playing with phrases and points I want to make.

Only to read through my bloglines this morning to see that two people have done a far better job than I did in my head. This happens more often than one might think.

Want to know how I feel about missing Vegas, but am glad there's a light at the end of the tunnel that for once is not an oncoming train? What she said. Okie-Vegas - YAY!!!

Want to know the plus sides about summer illness? What she said. (Nyquiladas.....sounds oddly inviting, but only because I still feel yucky.)

****

In spite of the fact that I still feel like a dogs breakfast, I dragged my sorry butt to school today. I think the only thing that would cause me to miss a day right now is hospitalization.

The end of the year is mondo crazy. It's the time where the teachers realize that there's not enough time to actually finish the curriculum (never is) and start jamming homework and assignments so we have enough markables, students are stressed about exams and anxious to get the hell out of here (we all are, really), the yearbook is missing so many sections from people who have an even more flexible attitude towards deadlines than Douglas Adams did that I honestly wonder how the hell I'm going to pull it all together, administration wakes up and starts peeking into things, people start complaining about the computers (bite me, I have report cards to do too, so fix it yourself), the Xerox printer begins to fail on a near daily basis causing those with exams to print to have conniption fits of epic proportions, faculty is ready to lynch the next person that mentions the words "report" and "cards" in the same sentence, and we have all hit the saturation point of dealing with each other.

Yeah I know it's a hideously long run on sentence. I don't care.

But on the other hand, the kids are gone on the 13th. Blissful silence awaits.

****

I'm starting the lovely process of cleaning my desk. It's frightening how much paper I can accumulate, when I'm the computer teacher and do most things digitally. I'm tempted to just sweep it all into the recycling bin but I'm pretty sure there's a Grade 7 PhotoShop quiz buried in there somewhere that's just waiting for me to mark it.

I was about halfway down the archealogical dig when I found a small tin where I stash the little things that some of the high school students have given me. I looked at the collection of pins and started to laugh; the math teacher looked over my shoulder and when I showed her, she only said "perhaps you are sharing a wee bit too much of yourself".


Umm....maybe.

It's the first weekend in ages that both Hunny Bunny and I have off together, and in the same place. And with his schedule over the next while, it looks like Okie-Vegas may be the next time we have more than a day together.

So, needless to say we were both looking forward to this. We'd thought about going for a 2-day ride with overnight camping in Algonquin Park. Alas, they're calling for thunderstorm and showers which is not good for either camping or riding, so we downplayed the plans to some jaunts around and about town.

It was all good.

Until last night when I got home and felt that tickle in my throat. By the time the Donkament started I was tossing back aspirin for a sore throat and sniffling a bit. I gave away the last of my chips just after the break and 20 minutes later I was in bed trying to shake this thing.

This morning I awoke to one mother of a cold. Chills, congestion, sore throat (too sore for even ice cream!), dizziness.

And there goes the nice weekend with my husband. And I know exactly who to blame for it.

Now, I recognize that there may be reasons why parents send their kids to school when they're sick. I've heard a lot of them from "I thought she was faking" to "I have an important meeting" (have to say the last one sucks...good grief, get your priorities straight please). But you know what....

IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT YOU, FOR FUCKS SAKES!!!!!!!!!! Keep your sick children at home, in bed, where they need to be - don't send them out to spread the joy to others!

Yeah, I'm a just a little bit pissed off at the moment.

****

Who won the Donkamnet, btw?