is there a prescription for it?

"Doctor, I think I may have a problem."

"Oh, Ms G, is that right? What are the sypmtoms?"

"A quick and all-encompassing rage with outbursts of foul language, followed immediately by an overwhelming desire to break something into microscopic pieces and/or inflict serious bodily harm on someone. "

"Hmmmmm." He scribbles something in my file. He pulls out a pile of cards with black and white images on them, and holds the first one up.

"And tell me, what is the first thing you think of when you see this?"

"Poker chips flying away from a central figure"

"Hmmmm. And this?"

"What the dealer looks like when I'm in Seat 5."

"Hmmmm." (I really wish he'd stop with the hmmmms) "Last one:"

"DONKEYS! Goddamn donkeys!!!!!"

"Ah. I see." He puts down the pen, settles back in his expensive leather chair and steeples his fingers together a la Mr. Burns on the Simpsons. "Well, Ms. G., it's quite apparent to me that you suffering from a case of Pokerinterneticus Tiltinitus."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Pokerinterneticus Tiltinnitus. It's quite common amongst those who play online poker when they are tired, stressed, or generally not really in the mood."

It's my turn to say it. "Hmmmm. Is there any cure, Doctor? A prescription I could take?"

"Take two of these, have a bubble bath, re-visit a good novel and call me in the morning. And don't log on to a poker site for 24 hours minimum."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

So I've followed the first part of his advice and feel much better already.

I've been suffering from this debilitating disease on and off all week, culminating in an episode brought on by someone playing a better hand exactly the way they should have, and taking me out in the process. Sorry for acting like a git.

In about 40% of the situations that tilted me in the last week, it was beyond my control. You know, the time when some idiot calls you down with utter crap and completely sucks out on you on the river. These I can blame on the Poker Goddess being bitchy and let it go pretty quickly.

But the other 60%, well, those were situations of my own devising - improper betting, ignoring hand and pot odds, not paying attention to position, not paying attention period. Those are the ones that really send me 'round the bend. I can't shrug them off as the "that's poker" factor. It's just me being careless. And I feel like a right idiot when the tilt passes.

Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

No seriously, I do think I *may* possibly have a problem with poker. When I did a Google image search for Rorschach inkblots, I could not believe just how many of them looked poker-related to me. Is that normal?

7 Responses to “is there a prescription for it?”

  1. # Blogger CarmenSinCity

    Your too cute!!!!!  

  2. # Blogger Eric a.k.a. Bone Daddy

    That's funny, I see a vagina in every ink blot...hmmmm.  

  3. # Blogger mookie99

    "That's funny, I see a vagina in every ink blot...hmmmm."

    Ha ha....

    Thanks so much for helping with the tourney and making it a success. RoccoBoxer won the WSOP game and Drizz won the Fish Tank hat.  

  4. # Blogger Eric a.k.a. Bone Daddy

    Sorry Kat, maybe I was a little over the top with that last comment.  

  5. # Blogger katitude

    Eric, don't be daft. Your comment was lol irl worthy!


  6. # Blogger Iakaris aka I.A.K.

    Too long since I stopped by to tell you how cute you can be. Taking you out angered the Forces of Good and basically predicted my inevitable junk mashification.

    Can't wait to see what the consolation prize is!

    P.S. Does anyone know where Eric gets his inkblots? I'd be interested in having a look at his set...  

  7. # Blogger TripJax

    Damnit I wish I had read this the day you wrote it so I could have used eric's comment. I was thinking the same thing.

    U'ze funny Kat...  

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