definitely not poker - feel free to pass this by

Numb. Disjointed. I can't settle in one place, my mind is flitting around like a butterfly on speed. I can't seem to cry but I want to. I want to let go of this weight.

I found out this morning that my grandma has passed away. Peacefully and blissfully unaware and pain free; for that I am thankful. I had seen her only once in the last six months, not because she lived far away but because her mind had gone far away. Dementia, alzheimers - what ugly, evil little words.

Grandma Rose was amazing. Strong and resilient, she left an abusive husband in a small town at a time when one simply did not do that. She worked full time in her brother's store, raised my mom, my uncle and aunt, and got through life. She always seemed to have a quiet grace about her. Not much bugged her, she knew how unimportant the small stuff really was. It broke her heart when my mother died, but she showed us all how strength of spirit can help you carry on. She never passed up any opportunity to tell people they were loved and they were important. She loved to slip crisp 20s and 50s to the 3 grandkids when no one was looking. And she made a killer lemon meringue pie.

I'd said my farewells to the woman that was Rose a while ago, but now there are the formalities to get through. It would piss her off no end if I cancelled Vegas on her account (Grandma loved Vegas even more than I do, and thought it wonderful that Keith and I got married there) so I'm still going - I just may be a day late.

Folks, enjoy and honour your relationships. Time slips away faster than you ever anticipate. Thanks for listening.

12 Responses to “definitely not poker - feel free to pass this by”

  1. # Blogger SirFWALGMan

    Nice tribute to her Kat. My wife's dad had the ugly Alzie bug too. Hopefully she is in a better place now.  

  2. # Blogger Iakaris aka I.A.K.

    Life is brief, but when its gone / Love goes on and on.

    What else is there to say? Your tribute is the proof in essence.  

  3. # Blogger Dr. Pauly

    Thanks for sharing.  

  4. # Blogger Pokerwolf

    You do her a great honor by remembering her. That also shows how special she was.  

  5. # Blogger SoxLover

    My condolences. Each of my grandmothers' names is Rose as well and you've inspired me to call them up.

    We'll be sure to lift a glass in her name next weekend.  

  6. # Blogger Matt Silverthorn

    I'm sorry about the loss of your grandmother, Kat. My thoughts are with you and your family.  

  7. # Blogger peacecorn

    Oh, Kitty Kat. I'm so sorry.


  8. # Blogger biggestron

    My condolences. I lost my last grandparent to alzeheimer's many years ago. It was tough seeing her leave before she actually died.  

  9. # Blogger Martini Goddess

    I'm so sorry honey.  

  10. # Blogger Guin

    My grandfather passed away from the same horrible disease. Glad you are focusing on remembering her as she really was and not on the final days.  

  11. # Blogger Jules

    We will have to make sure we properly toast her memory while in Vegas.

    ::hugs babe::  

  12. # Blogger Falstaff

    I lost my grandma last november. Sorry for you loss. We'll give her a salute in Vegas this weekend.  

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