Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.Yeah, then I'm insane. I log in to Full Tilt every Friday night, somehow thinking that maybe this week will be different, that this week will be fun, that the poker gods might stop fucking with me. I play the rebuy with wild abandon (maybe that's my problem), donate far more than I am really comfortable losing (or maybe that's my problem), drink maybe one beer too many (oooh, maybe that's my problem), and have a bit of a laugh.
~ attributed to Albert Einstein
But then it turns. Often faster than a peri-menopausal woman's mood swing (trust me, I know whereof I speak on this one; so does Keith, poor man). I'll get screwed by a two-outer on the river and a switch will be thrown. I'll either rant or sign off in a snit, and then feel like a goober once I've cooled down. I'm not amused by the fact that online poker and hormones are turning me into a whiney bitch sore loser.
Time to do some (more) attitude adjustment. SSDD is getting old.
The Friday Night Bloggerment will play without me next week. Thanks to some help from some friends, I'm going to the Bash, bitches!
(insert wheeeeeeeeee here)
Saturday was a very good day. One of my students invited Keith and I up to the Brantford Jazz festival to watch her perform.
This kid is incredible. There she is, 15 years old, standing on stage in front of 500-600 people belting out Frank Sinatra like she's done it for 50 years. As we sat in the sunshine watching her and the other 3 "young divas", I was struck by how todays kids are so much more sophisticated and confident than me and my friends were at that age. Thinking about how brief childhood seems to be now cast a bit of a shadow over the afternoon. But then when she raced up to us after the show, all hugs and laughter and OMG's, I realized that hell, no matter what, 15 is still 15; the rest is really jsut all show.
After the show was over, we went to Taylor and Tawny's for a BBQ in honour of Tawny's birthday. Lots of laughter made the evening special, as always. Thanks guys, and Tawny, I meant what I said - more live life, less online life!
Today did not start out to be a good day; in fact it was pretty damn close to being the worst day in 10 years. Luckily, an apology and a nap saved it (and me) from total disaster.
Part of the fallout of the day was a continuation of a long internal conversation about friends.
I have friends that I feel I've neglected. Karen, Jules and Tawny - I am truly sorry, and can only say I will definitely make more of an effort. Feel free to whack me upside the head if it happens again. I mean it.
I have a good friend that I can no longer talk with, and the loss has left a hole in my life. I will abide by their wishes, and hope that their life goes well and that someday we can pick up our friendship again. I miss you.