This weekend was spent playing a lot of poker, and with one exception, the results were unsatisfactory.
I lost. A lot. Out of the 12 tourneys and SnG's played over a two day period, I placed ITM in only one. And it was the last one of the weekend.
In every game I played tight, uber tight in a few cases. I read the players, I lasted deep into each game, aggressively taking pots and stealing blinds. I kicked some serious ass in a few places. I was able to avoid bad beats like they were stupid cagers on the poker road.
But Kat, you say, then why the hell did you lose???
I got stupid. I dropped my attention for a minute. I got impatient. Or a combination of all three. Out of all of my bust-outs, none of them were due to a bad beat. Each and every one was a direct result of me not consistently playing an "A" game.
And that is the nature of my personal tilt.
I can't get upset about a bad beat, because shit happens, and I have no control over what donkeys do. As a matter of fact, not that long ago I was one of those donkeys, congratulating myself over winning with my 64 offsuit and making my one-outer. (sidenote: a huge thank you to my poker pals, who are studiously educating me indirectly on what a noob I was/am.)
And I have no control over how the cards fall. I refuse to be an ass and blame the software when the cards don't go the way I'd like.
But I do have control over how I act. Well, some control at least (Jules, ssshhhhh!). And I've learned enough to feel 10 shades of stupid when I continue to bet deeply with my QQ, even though there's a K on the board, I'm in shitty position, and the only other player left in the hand smooth calls all my bets no matter how high. I mean, honestly....doesn't take a freakin' rocket scientist to see the writing on the wall for that hand. And yet I missed it; and was rewarded by my sloppy play by getting bounced.
And that puts me on tilt. I doubt myself, I question my knowledge and my level of intelligence. Life and my adventures in poker would be so much simpler if I could blame my losses on other people, but alas, that's not how I was brought up.
But luckily I was also brought up to learn from my mistakes. "Only idiots screw up the same way multiple times...and I didn't raise an idiot, did I?"...god I'd never thought I'd see the day when I'd thank my father for all the times he'd say that to me with a sardonic twist.
So after the second last game (where my method of busting out of the trouney was so stupendously stupid, all I could say in the chat was "don't anyone say anything"). I cursed a lot, stomped around a bit, then turned off the tv, closed the www windows, set iTunes to play Groove Salad, and sat down again with two words repeated like a mantra: Wait. Think.
And I placed 4th in the last game of the weekend. It was a $5, 45-person SnG, and I made $20 bucks to offset the $110 spent. Financially the weekend was a wash, but was priceless in lessons.
I hope like hell I remember them.
I lost. A lot. Out of the 12 tourneys and SnG's played over a two day period, I placed ITM in only one. And it was the last one of the weekend.
In every game I played tight, uber tight in a few cases. I read the players, I lasted deep into each game, aggressively taking pots and stealing blinds. I kicked some serious ass in a few places. I was able to avoid bad beats like they were stupid cagers on the poker road.
But Kat, you say, then why the hell did you lose???
I got stupid. I dropped my attention for a minute. I got impatient. Or a combination of all three. Out of all of my bust-outs, none of them were due to a bad beat. Each and every one was a direct result of me not consistently playing an "A" game.
And that is the nature of my personal tilt.
I can't get upset about a bad beat, because shit happens, and I have no control over what donkeys do. As a matter of fact, not that long ago I was one of those donkeys, congratulating myself over winning with my 64 offsuit and making my one-outer. (sidenote: a huge thank you to my poker pals, who are studiously educating me indirectly on what a noob I was/am.)
And I have no control over how the cards fall. I refuse to be an ass and blame the software when the cards don't go the way I'd like.
But I do have control over how I act. Well, some control at least (Jules, ssshhhhh!). And I've learned enough to feel 10 shades of stupid when I continue to bet deeply with my QQ, even though there's a K on the board, I'm in shitty position, and the only other player left in the hand smooth calls all my bets no matter how high. I mean, honestly....doesn't take a freakin' rocket scientist to see the writing on the wall for that hand. And yet I missed it; and was rewarded by my sloppy play by getting bounced.
And that puts me on tilt. I doubt myself, I question my knowledge and my level of intelligence. Life and my adventures in poker would be so much simpler if I could blame my losses on other people, but alas, that's not how I was brought up.
But luckily I was also brought up to learn from my mistakes. "Only idiots screw up the same way multiple times...and I didn't raise an idiot, did I?"...god I'd never thought I'd see the day when I'd thank my father for all the times he'd say that to me with a sardonic twist.
So after the second last game (where my method of busting out of the trouney was so stupendously stupid, all I could say in the chat was "don't anyone say anything"). I cursed a lot, stomped around a bit, then turned off the tv, closed the www windows, set iTunes to play Groove Salad, and sat down again with two words repeated like a mantra: Wait. Think.
And I placed 4th in the last game of the weekend. It was a $5, 45-person SnG, and I made $20 bucks to offset the $110 spent. Financially the weekend was a wash, but was priceless in lessons.
I hope like hell I remember them.
I am sooooo right there with you, Kat. That's almost exactly how my last big day at the tables went...one small ITM finish to offset 5 or 6 other SNG finishes outside the cash. You did the right thing, before the last one. Don't tilt. Take a breath and relax before jumping into the next one. Put some space between a loss and a new game...no need bringing the bad vibe along.
I think we have all been there. The key is to let it go. Don't let it get you down; learn and move on.
I could not empathize with you more kat. I'm going through a slump too. I've gone out on the bubble of the last three tourneys I've played in. It's so frustrating. I'm not sure that I know where I'm going wrong. I really need to keep a positive attitude like you. I look like such an ass when I stomp around and freak out and kick walls and cuss out everyone in site. Anyway, thanks for sharing your weekend - makes me feel like I'm not alone.
And Kat, think how great it is that you can learn these lessons so cheaply. I know it was a frustrating weekend of poker, but to be honest this is a very small price to pay to learn some valuable insights about your game.
Not that I think there is actually anything wrong with your game right now. How could there be when you outlast me by at least one spot in every single blogger tournament that there is?