I have not been doing well the last week or so. Yes, the cards have been cold, but I've been letting other factors affect my play. I have forgotten the Zen of Poker, the still watchfulness and patience, and have reverted to my old way of play, jumping in every pot and trying force the board.
And I wonder that I'm losing money hand over fist.
Now, I may call upon the poker gods (or any god for that matter), but it's not like I have any faith at all that they exist. But sometimes coincidences do occur in such a way that makes me go "hmmmmm....."
Came back from the Monday night game at Tawny & Tay's, where I lost two games....4 of 6 in one, 6 of 6 in the other. While I do have my money's worth in fun (Geo, you are one sick lil' puppy *grin), I don't often win cash (twice in the year I've been playing there, to be exact). And on the drive home last night, I beat myself up about my overall bad play ... I mean, come on Kat! All in on 2's???? What the fuck was I thinking.
Therein lies the problem....I wasn't. I was trying to force it, to make the cold cards bend to my will. Recipe for disaster there, eh?
And when I got home, I checked my email to find one of Full Tilt's Tips from the Pro's on losing streaks. While I feel much better now I'm not alone in how I react to losing...I don't know how I'd deal with one that is months-long rather than days-long.
So. I think I'll stop escaping into poker for a week (ok, ok, maybe a few days), and try to deal some of the real stuff that's going on. Because frankly, the more I NEED poker to be the thing that works for me, the less it WILL be the thing that works right now. Once I have a handle on that, maybe I can find my poker zen again in time to kick some ass on Poker Stars Saturday with Dr. Pauly.
Here's hoping.